June 09, 2009

Cammy** and Hank**: A Love Story


** All names have been changed to protect, well, me.

This posting is a "request" ("demand" is such a strong word, don't you know) from my stepdaughter, Cammy. Cammy is a gorgeous attention hound, and she feels this story needs to be told (and she insisted that I describe her as gorgeous!).

Cammy was in "stupid love" with her husband. That is to say, she was in love with the thought of being in love, and didn't really have a deep relationship with her husband, Dork. Sure, they whispered sweet nothings to each other, and loudly confessed their undying love for each other in front of friends and family. But they rarely had deep and meaningful conversations; they lacked a real connection to one other.

As time went by, Cammy began to feel disillusioned about her marriage. She longed for something more. Here's where Hank comes in.

Hank was a co-worker at Cammy's place of employment. He was very different from Dork. He talked, he listened. He was a decent human being, had a good sense of humor, and was as cute as a button, to boot...and he was married, to Glinda.

Hank dreamed of having a family, but Glinda did not share his dream. He wasn't happy in his marriage. So Cammy and Hank began a friendship, which blossomed into more over time. Dork and Glinda were out of the loop on these happenings.

Cammy left Dork, Hank left Glinda. They moved in together. Meanwhile, Dork and Glinda began consoling each other about the betrayals they felt from their respective spouses. They felt they had even more in common than being dumped.

Divorce proceedings were begun. Cammy found out she was pregnant with Hank's child. They made plans for their future, bought a house together, and prepared for the arrival of the baby.

Dork and Glinda got married, and began their life together, which assuaged the guilt felt by Cammy and Hank.

Cammy and Hank had a beautiful baby boy. They got officially engaged. They are getting married in September.

Glinda found out about the impending nuptials, and she communicates her feelings to all who will listen. She sends horrible emails to Hank's and Cammy's friends and family, messages detailing how she has been wronged. Verbal insults are exchanged across the Internets.

The baby, we'll call him Winklebean ('cuz he's just that cute), is a year old now. He is one of the happiest babies you'll ever meet. He is immune to the childish behavior of the adults, he has no clue about what will happen in September, when his parents become man and wife.

We can only hope that both couples will have a long and happy life together, and learn how to forgive and move on.

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