Here are the prompts:
- Interview a child (Inspired by Quilao Triplets).
- How do you stave off boredom? (Inspired by Jenn's Pen).
- Write a poem for the little boy in your life (Inspired by Life with Kaishon).
- Describe a memorable interview or talk about your experience trying to find a job amidst this recession (Inspired by Lacey).
- Create a Help Wanted Ad (Inspired by Jenners).
4. Describe a memorable interview or talk about your experience trying to find a job amidst this recession.
I have been unemployed a long time, so long, it seems like forever. It's been 20 months since I got laid off from my last fulltime job.
I am so very tired of sending out resumes and not getting even one response. I got all excited a week or so ago because I got an actual REJECTION email. Woohoo, they know I exist...and they think I suck! I did a computer chair happy dance, I was so thrilled!
I'm not going to tell you about an interview today. I'm going to tell you about a brief email encounter I had with a recruiter last week.
Before I continue, let me say that I have fifteen years' experience in my chosen field. I am confident I have the skills to do the job I'm telling you about. It was a 3 month contract opportunity. A.Thirty.Mile.Commute.Each.Way.At.Twenty.Percent.Less.Than.I.Used.To.Make. In short, my dream job!
Here's the original email (*names have been changed to protect the ignorant):
Dear Applicant, (note the personal touch here. It made me feel so special.)
My name is Candid* and I'm a recruiter at Asshat* Services Corporation, formerly known as Arrogant* Technologies Corporation. Our records show that you are an experienced professional with experience in Dental Floss Braiding*. This experience is relevant to one of my current openings.
It is located in BFE*, MO.
Dental Floss Braider* Job Description
The position requires a self starter to update our floss*. [Boring details deleted] A trip to Hauppauge NY may be required for a week to obtain first hand information on some stuff* being turned over to the BFE* Operations staff.
Arrogant* Services Corp.
Note: Please allow me to reiterate that I chose to contact you either because your resume had been posted to one of the internet job sites to which we subscribe, or you had previously submitted your resume to Asshat*. I assumed that you are either looking for a new employment opportunity, or you are interested in investigating the current job market.
If you are not currently seeking employment, or if you would prefer I contact you at some later date, please indicate your date of availability so that I may honor your request. In any event, I respectfully recommend you continue to avail yourself to the employment options and job market information we provide with our e-mail notices.
First of all, note that he contacted ME about this particular position (and his email contained typos, which I corrected. That's not germane to the conversation here, I just like to point out obvious incompetence). At this point, I'm assuming that he has read my very informative and accurate resume, and thought I might be a good fit for this job.
I sent a copy of said resume to Candid*. It is important to remember that I have not worked in a fulltime position in my field since Oct. 2007. IT IS CLEARLY STATED ON MY RESUME.
Have you worked since Oct 2007?
Well, d'uh, Candid. I felt it was necessary to explain my absence from the workforce.
I had a short contract at the end of 2007, and had a job doing income taxes this year. I stayed home during 2008, to take care of my special needs son. In June, I moved to MO and got married. I have been looking for work here since June 2008.
Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Nothing but the sound of crickets.
My reply (hoping not to sound desperate, I think it came across as just plain b*tchy - and I'm fine with that):
The economy was already beginning to tank in NY state in early 2008. By the time I arrived in MO last June, the slowdown had reached here, too.
I was fortunate to be able to spend this downtime looking after my son (who has bipolar disorder and an autism disorder). He is doing much better now, so I'm actively seeking employment again.
I took your question as being dismissive, meaning that you'd never submit my resume with that large of a gap. Am I correct?
Candid has not replied to my latest message. He must be too busy scrubbing my information from his hard drive and PDA.
The upshot? In this economy, four or five recruiters are fighting for this one position. I just keep responding to all of them, maybe one will be silly enough to give me a chance on this wonderful 3-month opportunity.
5. Write a Help Wanted Ad
When my daughters were younger, and arguing all the time about who got the biggest piece of cake or when they came to physical blows in the cereal aisle in the grocery store because I'd only let them buy ONE box of cereal, I would tell them that I was going to place an ad in the paper for GOOD KIDS, since I obviously shopped in the 'slightly irregular' bin when I got them (oooh, don't ya just love a long run-on sentence?).
I never carried through on my threat. Here's my chance:
Wanted: Obedient Children for Trade
Harried mom seeks 2 good natured girls. Must be polite, listen when spoken to, and have the ability to turn off light switches when they leave a room. Please be interested in cooperative play. Cleaning up after yourselves a big plus. All reasonable expenses will be paid. Must appreciate sarcasm. Must be willing to cut me some slack here.
Will trade 2 daughters who forget how good they have it in their current living situation.
If interested, please call 432 1234.