At that time, I was working fulltime. Housework and erra
Anyway, back to The Boy as a first grader (but before the Bipolar diagnosis)
Do you remember Johnny Bravo? The beefy, black t-shirt and jeans clad layabout who cared more about his hairstyle than just about anything? The character who had great pecs but mush for b
Back to one weekend filled with domestic responsibilities and overall productivity.
Picture a Saturday morning in Fall. Sunny, a bit chilly. The day held such promise. I started an enthusiastic round of vacuuming in the dining room when, suddenly, it hit me. An odor of such hideousness that it made me screw my face up into itself to avoid the stench in the air.
A smell that was reminiscent of family camping trips...yes, that was it! It smelled just like a state park outhouse!
Casting the vacuum aside, I began my investigation. I sniffed kitchen and bathroom drains for that eggy sulfur odor; I examined the contents of kitchen and outside trash cans. I looked high and low for decomposing rodent bodies and frozen food containers that were slid under beds or crammed under the couch. I checked the toilet and the tub and the laundry hamper.
Puzzled, yet satisfied, I returned to my vacuuming. Again, instantly - that SMELL! I even remember asking, aloud, "What the HELL is that smell?"
Cue The Boy from the living room.
"Mom, I have something to tell you. I peed in the vacuum...several times."
Sure enough, I took the cover off the bag compartment (this was in the day when vacuums still had bags), and gosh darn it, the bag was damp and discolored. I never knew vacuuming dirt could be so absorbent.
Apparently, The Boy used the vacuum hose attachment and allowed his "hose" to do the rest.
Why, you might ask? Why would a child purposely pee in the vacuum?
"But mom, Cartoon Network was on, and I didn't want to miss anything."
By the way, there is NO good way to clean a urine-scented vacuum. I hoped that some other family didn't pick it up from my trash and decide to give it a whirl.
Maybe I should have consulted the experts at Cartoon Network. I bet Dexter, Boy Genius would have figured out a way to make it smell like the outdoors after a nice, Spring rain.