Warning: Photo of scantily clad woman follows! Consider yourself warned!
It just may take me
I'm starting to read the book TODAY; I figure I shouldn't delay my career research a single minute!
Here's my list of tasks to do before I start my new exciting career!
- Lose an Oprah wagon full of weight
Turn the clock back about 34 years, before babies and stretch marks
- Get all body parts lifted, sucked, tucked and enhanced to overcome the ravages of gravity
- Dye my hair blonde (apparently, blondes DO have more fun)...can I get confirmation on this?
Become a regular reader ofMemorize the content on http://www.stripper-faq.org/
- Find an unlicensed surgeon to perform a lobotomy, effectively removing the burden of dignity and intellect from my frontal lobe
- Two words: Brazilian wax!
- Experience the joy of self-tanning creams
- Install pole and learn how to pole dance
- Find a geographic area with a predominance of needy, nearsighted geriatric men who haven't laid eyes on a woman since the Kennedy administration, who are blessed with overstuffed wallets and a lot of free time
Yep, I typed 'crocheted pasties' in the Search box, and I hit pay dirt! Well, I'm off to Michael's - they're having a sale on yarn and crochet hooks!