The prompt I chose this week: Write a series of tweets that ultimately end with a line that I actually tweeted on Friday night: ”And then I sat on those remaining in the pack…and pulled the glowing sticks from under my ass.”
Boy, that Mama Kat sure has a full life, doesn't she?
Here's my attempt at reconstructing a Twitter conversation with Mama Kat's ending:
JuneFreakingCleaver Hey girl! How you be? OSG_Benjamin I'm fine and dandy! How the hell are you? JuneFreakingCleaver My ass hurts so bad I can't sit. I burned it the other night.
OSG_Benjamin How in the world did you do that? OSG_Benjamin Did The Mister finally light a fire under your ass? LOL
JuneFreakingCleaver No LOL, I'm just a moron...lol
OSG_Benjamin Wow! Have you seen your PCP about the burn? JuneFreakingCleaver No way, remember, no health insurance...sigh. And it's embarrassing!
OSG_Benjamin So June, tell me how you burned your butt? JuneFreakingCleaver Remember, I told you I've had laryngitis for two weeks now?
JuneFreakingCleaver My throat hurts so much, I'm not smoking as much, and I need my nicotine fix. OSG_Benjamin June, you mean to tell me you're STILL smoking? JuneFreakingCleaver Yep, aren't I a dope? But I figured out how to smoke with my sore throat the other night. OSG_Benjamin What did you do? JuneFreakingCleaver I figured I needed the nicotine, so I had to figure out a way to get it into my system JuneFreakingCleaver Don't laugh when I tell you what I did... OSG_Benjamin No promises...but I must say, I AM intrigued! JuneFreakingCleaver I went outside and lit up a whole pack, waited until they were burning good.
JuneFreakingCleaver I was so worried someone would see me OSG_Benjamin Huh? Why? JuneFreakingCleaver Ok, it was dark out. I pulled down my pants and... JuneFreakingCleaver And then I sat on those remaining in the pack...and pulled the glowing sticks from under my ass.
My tweeting buddy? None other than Dr. Regina Benjamin, Surgeon General of the United States!
Now when she calls me a flaming asshole, it fits.
Please visit Mama Kat for all the prompts and responses that are certainly not as lame as mine is!