May 13, 2010

My Book Blurb - Hot Off the Presses

It's Thursday, and once again, time for the fun at Mama Kat's and her Writer's Workshop. This week, I chose prompt #5:

Imagine your life is now a book. In 100 words, write the blurb for it. (It’s what people will read on the back cover.







As is often the case, I tweaked the rules a bit, and exceeded the word limit. Don't hate me for it, ok?






June Freaking Cleaver tells all in her memoir filled with angst and aggravation, at times serious, or silly, or sensational. From her days as a recalcitrant Girl Scout, to her years as a nomad traveling across the US, Don't Make Me Come Over There tells the story of a woman, who despite knowing better, just keeps putting one clumsy foot in front of the other.

You'll learn of her experiences as a single mother in a world filled with happy families. Find out how June deals with her second "shift" as a mother of a child with special needs.

Finally, you'll read how the author became June Freaking Cleaver - and how she, The Mister and The Boy live life to the fullest in the Cleaver Compound.

You'll laugh at June's spunkiness, and cheer along with her successes. And you'll wonder what the hell she was thinking when, just like Lucy and Ethel, she comes up with another hairbrained scheme.

An excerpt from Don't Make Me Come Over There:


I entered the court house with great trepidation. I scanned the electronic docket, and saw that my case was scheduled for 2:45.

Glad to be inside, it had been a long trip to get to court. An hour on the bus, followed by a two mile walk, most of it uphill - and in the rain. It would be days before my shoes dried. As I waited, I felt the steam waft up off my body.


I stood outside the door of the courtroom. All of the benches were taken by defendants and their lawyers, as well as a few family members. I had no lawyer, and no family to support me. I was a lone wolf,  a stranger in a strange land. My life of petty crime was coming to an end...


Critical Acclaim for 
June Freaking Cleaver's
Don't Make Me Come Over There



"After finishing this book, the first thing I did was call my mother, and thank her for including all the 'lovely' snippets about me in her book. My next call? My lawyer. I will make no further comments."
- June Freaking Cleaver's daughter

"I literally could NOT put this book down! Serves me right for trying to repair a broken teacup with Super Glue and getting that stuff on my hands!"
-Eleanor Midschniffel, just your average blue-haired lady, now stuck holding both the book AND the teacup

 "One third wit, one third whimsy, and two thirds wacky - that's Don't Make Me Come Over There. I know, it adds up to more than 100% - math was never my best subject."
- Alfred E. Newman


"June Freaking Cleaver's debut memoir defies description. Part comedy, part tragedy - and it makes a great paperweight."
- Alyce Wingfield, Publisher's Weekly 

"The Liars' Club is so much better. I just dare June to say that her mother was crazier than mine."
- Mary Carr, author of The Liars' Club
 

18 comments:

  1. The critical acclaim just sells the whole thing! Hilarious!

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  2. What a HOOT! Can I buy a copy?

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  3. Oh, the critical acclaim is hysterical!!!! You just made my morning. :)

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  4. June Freaking Cleaver this was just too freaking CLEVER! I loved it. Stopping by from Mama Kat's. BTW.... I want a copy of the book!

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  5. I did the same prompt too and where can I buy that book that has alfred e nueman doing a quote.

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  6. Worth every word! I'm glad it wasn't just 100 words...I would've felt jipped!
    Stopping by from Mama Kat's to say hello :)

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  7. This is hilarious!! Seriously. I'm glad you linked up.

    Stopping in from Mama Kat's.

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  8. Love it! Now I kinda wish I had done this prompt!

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  9. So, when is this fun filled, angst driven, page turner going to be published??? You can't leave all your readers HANGIN' like this? We gotta know what happened in that court room, if your shoes ever dried out, how that bus ride back home went (and how your quads felt after that two mile walk uphill in the pouring rain). Your readers demand to know!!!!

    I'm going to have to follow you just so I can find out.
    ; )

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  10. God I loved this!! I think the critical acclaim was the best part!!!!!! "Now I have a teacup and a book."

    And love that cover!!

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  11. You seriously need to write that book!! Loved it!

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  12. A spunky, recalcitrant Girl Scout. Love it!

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  13. That sounds awesome. You should get started.

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  14. I agree with all of the above!! You are one seriously humorous woman, Ms. Cleaver!! :)

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  15. That's great!!! When does it come out and can I get an autographed copy?

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  16. Seriously ... you should write this book. It would be a best seller!!! Too funny!

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  17. You are so creative. And hilarious :)
    I would read your book for sure!

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Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!