May 14, 2010

My Campaign to Cash in on My Puff Presents

A while back, while reading  Baby Makin(g) Machine's blog, she mentioned the concept of the 'Push Present'. Do you know what that is?


Apparently, it's customary in some parts for a new father to give his partner an expensive gift for working so hard to push the baby out. 


I thought it was a grand stupid idea. I always thought the 'present' was the baby! That, and being able to sleep on your stomach and saying a big "hello" to your feet. Silly me.


I am not one to have a closed mind, however, so I filed away this custom in my head (and wondered how I, with menopause approaching and being without the benefit of fallopian tubes, could take advantage of celebrate MY proud accomplishments in a similar way.


It took a while, but I think I've come up with something. Work with me on this.

As you may already know, on May 3, I suffered through an agonizing ordeal. I voluntarily submitted my earlobes to excruciatingly painful electrical stimulation (I swear, the lights in the office dimmed) - all in an effort to curb my insidious addiction to nicotine.

I perspired profusely, and my hair? It looked like I put my finger in a light socket! My hair looked remarkably similar to this:



But it was all worth it. Now I have hopes for a longer life, healthier lungs, a fatter wallet, cleaner smelling hair and clothes - and The Mister won't have to feel like he's kissing an ashtray.

Yes, those are good things - but they're not enough. I wanted MORE.

Have I ever told you about WII-FM? What's In It For Me radio? I'm a long time listener, and I knew there had to be a way to market my smoking cessation success (say THAT three times, fast) - and get fabulous prizes and financial wealth beyond my fondest desires!

So far, I've cashed in on two different occasions! Yay me!

The very day I had the procedure, I conned The Mister into letting us I suggested that we go out to dinner, to celebrate my new status as a non-smoker. Yummy. And I got a day where I wasn't chained to the stove.

Now, ten days after my quit date, I whined and cajoled asked The Mister if we could get NetFlix. Due to persistent subliminal programming, he readily agreed. I tell ya, my program works so well, HE was the one who said that the monthly Netflix account would be in effect as long as I didn't start smoking again.

I tell ya, if you get them to think it's THIER idea, you're in the clear. 

For my next 'puff present'? I'm thinkin' The Mister would be pleased to finance either a weekend of pampering or, after applying the right amount of pressure, a new piece of jewelry. 

Like an extra 20 years with ME isn't gift enough for anyone.

6 comments:

  1. I got some nice earrings for a push present, and I agree a puff present is necessary---great job, girl!

    p.s. we are addicted to Netflix!!!!

    ;-)

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  2. When I was having my kids, I had never heard of this. Many years later, a friend told me she was getting a "birthing gift." I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, jewelry. Nice jewelry! I am always late to the party!!! Love your "puff present" idea, although I missed out on that one, too, when I quit smoking. ;D

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  3. you go girlfriend! i quit smokin six months ago and my "puff" present (to myself natch) was zoomin my teeth (whitening). figured that if i had nice white teeth i wouldn't want to puff again (actually i do still wanna puff, but so far have resisted)

    grab whatever gifts you can!!! i'm all about the sparkly stuff...

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  4. Presents? Did someone say PRESENTS?? I guess, with my 2 gals, I've had enough presents to last a lifetime...

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  5. Ok since I wasnt in the know on push presents I need to come up with some other grand plan to finagle some goods out of the Cowboy!

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  6. Quitting smoking definitely deserves some recognition! I'm with the Mister though ... Netflix should be contingent with the continued quitting. (acts as an incentive too).

    I'm so proud of you!

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