September 29, 2010

The Boy Has Eliminated Landscaper As a Possible Career Choice

The Boy mowed the lawn last week.

I made him do it, for faking his latest illness, when I had to pick him up at 8:30 am at school.

Lucky for him, our lawn is not much bigger than this:

Despite the small size, The Boy still gave up before he was done.

Quitter.

He employs a unique way of mowing the grass.


Our mower is electric. I think his ultimate goal is to run over and pulverize the extension cord...so I have to follow him around, making sure that the cord is not ruined.

Not OUR cord...all is well.
I love the time I spend playing Cord Wrangler.

He only tried to run over my feet once. 

Fun times.


Here's his mowing technique:


Notice the straight lines. 


Oh, you don't see any? Good, I thought it was just me.


I took over for a few minutes and attempted to show him how straight lines allow you to keep track of where you've already mowed.


I made sure that the area closest to the street looks decent.


I left the rest of the lawn just like he left it.

Now when the wind blows, I can see the tall grass move. It makes me want to sing "America the Beautiful". I imagine the amber waves of grain, and wax poetic about prairie dogs.



This painting is called "Prairie Dog Rapture"...and I know that if we had prairie dogs in our unmowed sections of yard, they'd be feeling the same way.


Unfortunately, all we have is moles. Stupid, blind moles that turn part of our teeny, tiny yard into giant dirt mounds.

Not OUR yard...but you get the picture

The Boy didn't miss a single one of those while mowing.


It was only the grass that gave him trouble.


I'm crossing Landscaper off his list of possible career choices...but Mole Mound Trimmer is still in the running.

 

8 comments:

  1. I am so cracking up right now! That is exactly how I see our yard when the boys start attempting to mow the lawn!

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  2. I, too, am cracking up! I love your sense of humor!!

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  3. OMG I was and still are laughing out loud, not something I'm prone to doing. I love the prairie dogs in rapture! Please write more. As for a career how about etch-a-scetch (sp), no stright lines there.

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  4. I FEEL you! I am 100% certain that it would go the same way with Orangeboy. I can hear myself out there with him, yelling corrective hints and punctuating those with:
    "What are you DOING?!"
    "Didn't my speech about straight lines mean anything to you?"
    When giving Orangeboy a consequence, I usually end up being the one punished.

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  5. but there was almost a straight line. hahaha

    this post hit my funnybone. thanks

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  6. Gotta love those boys! If they don't want to do something, they try to give you a thousand reasons why you shouldn't ask them to do it ever again. At some point these kids are supposed to leave home, right? LOL

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  7. I'm just dying of laughter over here. I must admit, my early lawn-mowing days were filled with such mishaps. He WILL get better in time. (I only killed three lawnmowers in my first year of mowing alone. I tended to hit stumps. Actually one stump .... over and over again. Sad really.)

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  8. And this is why Im glad we have zero grass because with the hubs gone all week Im pretty sure I would mow like the Boy!

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