October 29, 2010

They Say Men are From Mars - I Think The Mister is From Uranus

Courtesy of NASA.gov

The Mister is still working out of town from Monday morning through Thursday evening. During that time period (that I refer to as my "wifely vacation"), The Mister and I don't talk often. In the month or so he's been working, I have called him twice; he's called me once.

I guess I don't have to tell you that The Mister is NOT a big talker. He is not a very emotional being - he considers worrying about other's feelings "girl stuff".

After I got the news about my mother's stroke, and thinking about visiting her, I called him to make sure it was okay to spend that kind of money on tickets. We're weird like that - any spending we do over $20 (not talking food here) is discussed beforehand, if possible.

When I called him, he was at a restaurant, ready to order his dinner. You do NOT mess with The Mister when he is hungry. As far as the tickets were concerned, he told me to do what I thought was best for me.

Cool.

But I wasn't done with my need for talk. He sure was - dinner was his priority. He was exhausted and hungry.

I wanted to talk about my mom. I wanted to talk about her death, and how to handle it when it comes. I wanted supportive, emotional stuff.

I got a dial tone. I thought maybe he was just too hungry to deal with me now, and would call me back after dinner.


He didn't call.

I was disappointed.

When he came home last night, we talked about it. He had no idea I needed to talk about it.

Why is that?

He's from Uranus. On his home planet, if there is someone who has treated him badly, he cuts off any emotional connection to them. Plain and simple. Even parents are not exempt from this excision from his heart. He'll be cordial, but he will no longer think about their welfare, or care how they are doing.


This approach baffles me.

He said he had read my blog post about my mom and was confused. He could not understand how I could still harbor kind feelings about my mother after how badly I was treated over the years. He thinks the way women do things on Venus is weird, he'd never want to live here.

My approach baffles HIM.

I guess we'll just sit here and look confusedly at each other, because I don't see either one of us changing our minds.

All I know is that I don't want to live in Uranus.


2 comments:

  1. Interesting that you made him Uranus and not Neptune.

    Mr. Jenners can be baffling close-mouthed sometimes too ... but I've learned that is just his way. And talking non-stop about stuff is mine. Somehow, it works.

    And we too discuss any purchase over $20.

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  2. Tim's the same way, he just lets EVERYTHING go. I can't do it.

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