I liked most of the prompts she chose for us this week, but I've narrowed my selection to two of the prompts (appearing below, in bold).
Something unique you love about your significant other.
Unique is The Mister's middle name. Ok, I lie...but for certain, they broke the mold when The Mister joined this universe. He has many endearing qualities (and I
But the one quality that he has that provides me with endless hours of amusement (and more than enough blog fodder along the way)?
The Mister, simply put, is DELUSIONAL.
There, I've said it. In black and white, for all the world to see.
Damn, that feels good, getting it in print.
First, let's look at how Merriam-Webster defines delusion, shall we?
a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or objects outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary; also : the abnormal state marked by such beliefs
For example, The Mister is under the mistaken impression that I am NOT a princess. Now, I've been patient. I've not stomped my foot and demanded, well, a footman, nor whined about the lack of ladies in waiting. He persists in believing that I am a mere commoner - he totally denies my
And in this deluded state
He laughs aloud when I ask him when my tiara is due to be delivered. Then he makes some strange comment about the family jewels being stored in his pants.
I totally made that part up, about the pants. Naughty princess, aren't I?
Another example of his delusional state is his insistent thought about his being "the one in charge around here". But because I love the poor addlebrained lumpkin, I merely roll my eyes and let him keep on believing he's the boss.
His delusions even carry into his shopping habits. A romantic gift for me on our first Christmas?
A computer chair. Can you say 'whoop-dee-do'?
|Reasonable facsimile of my chair|
Sure, it's comfy, and it leans back so I can rock. It rolls from place to place. But a CHAIR? Where in the book Love Languages are computer chairs mentioned? And you'll never see 'chair' on the list of appropriate anniversary gifts.
Doesn't it just scream romance?
I spoke to the delusional Mister this evening (he's still working out of town), and he wanted me to say that I LOVE the chair. I sit in it for countless hours each day (and have the seam marks permanently etched into my butt cheeks as proof). I even tell the grandkids to "get OUT OF MY CHAIR!" when they deign to sit on it.
It's all true. I do love the chair. I sit in it all the time. I go absolutely batshit crazy if someone else sits in it (ok, not really crazy, but I want to sit in it).
I AM the Princess, after all.
And if I take off my glasses and turn my head at a 23 degree angle when the room is dimly lit AND look at it JUST THE RIGHT WAY, it kind of resembles a throne.
Go ahead, look at the picture my way...while you do that, I'll be watching for UPS to deliver my tiara.
10 Reasons Why I Could Never Be Friends With SARAH PALIN
- I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to moose meat.
- I don't care if she can see Russia when she looks out her window. If I was dumb enough to climb on my rooftop, I could see Illinois.
- She gets sound bites and press coverage for coining new words, like 'refudiate'. I coin new words sometimes on Post-it Note Tuesday, and all I get are a few measly comments. And by 'measly', I mean to say 'Thank you so much for leaving such witty and insightful comments!'
- Katie Couric got the goods on her about her failure to read about current events. There's no way we could ever discuss popular bestsellers or the news. And from the names she picked for her children, Track, Trig, Willow, Piper and Bristol - it proves that she never pored over Name Your Baby, either.
- When she winks, I feel nauseous.
- 'Hopey, changey' - 'nuff said.
- She went camping with Kate Gosselin. If that doesn't show a severe lack in judgment, I don't know what does.
- I could suffer hearing damage if she decided to follow her own advice of "Don't retreat, reload".
- If we spent time together, I'm afraid that my IQ would get in sync with hers, the way women's menstrual cycles do.
- I prefer to have friends who are less scary.