February 03, 2011

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop - Both Sides of the Prenuptial Coin

This week, I chose: Prenuptial agreement: Yay or Nay? Explain.

In the interest of fair play, I've decided that I should look at the prenup question from the both sides.

Scenario #1: The Mister wants a prenup

This is one subject I did not have to deal with before getting married (damn my bad luck). Had The Mister been rolling in Benjamins, then maybe a conversation about a prenup would have taken place. 

Then I'd bewitch him with my awesome feminine wiles and make him forget all about it. Easy peasy.Wink, wink.

I'd never marry someone who insisted I sign a prenup.

Where's the trust? Isn't a prenup just a nice, legal way of saying "This marriage is never gonna last, so let me make sure I leave with all the money I brought into it?"

Can you see this kind of lingo inserted into your wedding vows? 

"Sorry, Rev, scratch the sections about 'richer or poorer', 'better or worse', 'sickness and in health', and 'death do us part'...let's just insert this five page, triple-spaced document that ensures that my account balances don't suffer when this whole marriage thing goes bust, okay? Don't worry, I invited the notary to the wedding."

Kinda ruins the moment, and negates the entire idea of lighting the Unity candle during the ceremony.

"Padre, can we make one small change here? Instead of 'I do', can we just say 'I do until...'?"

Even though a prenuptial agreement was not necessary for us, I spent countless hours explaining marital economics to The Mister after we got married. At first, he wasn't on board with my surefire system to ensure our my bliss in the Cleaver household.


In fact, when I first made my presentation, complete with PowerPoint slides, he seemed a bit angry and confused was livid. His first remarks were unprintable incoherent. I just figured it was due to some endorphin high he was experiencing every time he thought about spending the rest of his lifetime with the miracle that is me.


But I digress.

In a nutshell, my mission statement is this: 

What's his is MINE, what's mine is MINE.

Conversations at our house start like this:

"Hey Mister, if you loved me...never mind, just give me your wallet."


What can I say? It works for us me.





Scenario #2: I want The Mister to sign a prenup


Assuming that I was the one coming into the marriage with all the money, would I forgo love in place of continuing financial stability?


Does Donald Trump need a new barber?


I'd never marry a man who refused to sign a prenup.


Want to call me a hypocrite? Go ahead! Remember, I have all the money, I could afford stays at posh spas and years of intensive therapy, where I could  deduct all expenses, including first class air accommodations, thankyouverymuch, from my income taxes heal my wounded self-esteem.


Really, should my investment portfolio suffer because I prefer to wed a fixer upper?


Mmmm, I love me a good fixer upper. I'd think of it as charity work (and deduct all applicable expenses on Schedule A of Form 1040).


But I digress.

The firm managing my many holdings, Slim and Nunn, would make sure that my fortune continues to grow.

I just know The Mister and I would be so happy.


Please visit Mama Kat for all of the prompts and the great responses!


7 comments:

  1. LOL! I also didn't have one. Told my hubby we should divorce and get married again with prenups now. I don't think it went down well.

    Thanks for the stop earlier. Daughter says she heard cabbage breasts from friends at school. High school, who knows what they teaching now?

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  2. I wrote on the same topic and since I don't believe in divorce I don't believe in pre-nups. I think though when its a second marriage and you're trying to protect prior children then maybe it would be up for more of a discussion.

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  3. I like that you looked at both sides of the debate and not just one!
    Stopped by from Mama Kat's

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  4. Your funny. I usually live by the whats his is mine and what mine is mine philosophy too. Stopped by from Mama Kats and glad I did!

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  5. You crack me up ... and this post makes me actually feel sympathy for The Mister. HAHA!

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