February 24, 2011

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop - The Green Edition

This post is all about going green - it's 100% recycled...because I'm totally into cheating conserving MY energy.

The prompt I chose this week? 

What did they get into now? Describe a time your toddler got into something they shouldn't have. Click here to play along!

Why I Can Prove that Sleep is Over-rated
This story happened when The Boy was still a preschooler...and he still napped. I had a migraine that day, and was grateful to be able to nap on the couch while he was napping in his bed. I'm sure I had lovely rainbow and unicorn-filled dreams. 

I bet I was also dreaming about loaded baked potatoes and wheat toast.

Why baked potatoes and toast, you ask?? Come on, admit it - you DID just ask.

Well, this one time I was sleeping, I awoke to the smell of butter. Butter? Yes, I was convinced of it. I smelled butter. 

Well, not exactly butter...in truth, it was that famous and tasty 51% vegetable oil spread, Country Crock. Curious, that.

I opened my eyes and sat up. My arm looked positively shiny. And it also smelled of fake butter.

I looked across the room and saw The Boy.

Naked. 

Rolling on the carpeted floor. 

And on the carpet?

A huge oil slick consisting of Country Crock. The Boy looked so happy - and fairly jaundiced. His skin had a shiny, yellow tint. He positively glowed.

During my nap, he also slathered the stuff in my hair - I must say, my hair had a sheen like never before...nor since. 

It took FIVE baths to get The Boy de-greased. And the oil slick left in the bathtub was quite a chore to get rid of, too.

I never fully removed the oil stain from the carpet (say goodbye, security deposit).

I haven't slept soundly since that fated day...

unless you count the time that a certain six-year old Boy ordered Christmas presents from an 800 number...with my credit card. I wrote about THAT story here.

11 comments:

  1. Seriously, your life is a book being written. One day when you're rolling in dough you'll wish you had some of that butter. Your blog is so fun.

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  2. BWHAHAHAH.. ummm my boy made me breakfast one morning, I was in bed, daddy got up to go potty. Found the boy in the kitchen with a box of cereal, 2 sticks of butter, some milk, sugar and eggs busted in the floor. He was making me breakfast in bed.

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  3. OM Gosh! So funny! Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

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  4. Bwa Ha! This is exactly like something my now 7 year old would have gotten into. In fact, I can't believe he never thought of this one!

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  5. My kids are into the vaseline- so much so that we had to hide it because they were both dousing themselves in it daily. I still find vaseline places!

    stooping by from Mama Kat's

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  6. Wow, reading these posts I am realizing that my son hasn't been such a troublemaker after all!

    I did the same prompt, it looks like a lot of us did!

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  7. I often wish I could remember my thought process as a very small child, because then I might be able to figure out why those little darlings get into so much trouble!

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  8. Oh wow. Note to self: keep the crisco away from my future kids. Under lock and key!

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  9. Oh my word! This is the funniest story! I can't even imagine. A golden sheen! Too funny Ms. Freaking Cleaver!

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  10. But did you picture him as turkey like on Seinfeld?

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Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!