February 19, 2011

The Mister's Extreme Sense of Devotion

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The inspiration for today's Saturday Centus prompt, the Bruno Mars song I'd Catch a Grenade For Ya, got me thinkin’ (never a good thing, BTW). I created a list of potentially life-threatening situations, and asked The Mister which ones he’d be willing to do FOR ME.







(J is for the questions asked by me, June…M is for The Mister’s responses).


Would The Mister…?

J: Risk touching the third rail if I fell beneath the subway?
M: No, but I would throw a belt around you and pull you off the track.
J: You better start working out buddy, I’m heavy.

J: Loosen the knots if I were tied to the track of an oncoming train?
M: Of course.
J: Snidely Whiplash, take note…The Mister means business.

J: Push me out of the way of the impact of the out-of-control car?
M: Most certainly.
J: I gotta check our limits for medical care on our insurance, pronto.

J: Sample the eggs first, if I fear the taint of salmonella?
M: I already do that.
J: Note to self: Clean the refrigerator, paying careful attention to expiration dates.

J: Be my Kevlar vest?
M: I’d be glad to wrap all the way around you.
J: I think he just wants sex…or, he’s just in one of his affectionate, huggy moods. Nobody’s safe. But in case he really means to protect me, I must start my diet and exercise program NOW, so his arms can reach around my too-ample middle.

J: Jump in the lion’s cage to rescue me at the zoo?
M: Do you want both of us to be eaten by the lion?
J: Note to self: Don’t lean on exhibit railings that have been installed by the lowest bidder.

J: Donate an organ if we were a match?
M: Ewww! That’s just gross.
J: Think about this a minute. He’ll risk life and limb, but not a wee slice of his liver. He’d let me DIE! Even when I explained that there would only be one little scar, and his liver would eventually regenerate…he’d let me take a dirt nap. 

He’s a freak, I tell ya. The one situation that would include some of the best medical care in the nation, and he’s not interested…I guess I should re-think my grand plan to start on the road to alcoholism this year.

J: Catch a grenade for me?
M: Yes, and I'd throw it back at the person who tossed it.
J: Note to self: See if Dick’s Sporting Goods has a sale on catcher’s mitts, just in case.

If this ain’t love, I don’t know what is…


18 comments:

  1. Totally against the rules and totally funny! I wouldn't even ask my husband half of those questions. I strongly suspect that he likes trains better than me... This allows me to go to bed with a grin...

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  2. Lucky you to have Mister...clever, funny you who wrote these dangerous scenarios and sooooo different from all the others...Bravo !!!

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  3. Cute!I'd be afraid of some of the answers I'd get from my mister.~Ames

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  4. Dear June,

    Ain't fair! You're using 397 words for this! Which goes to show how much more fun we could have if we were allowed more than 100 words.

    Fun post! This prompt was not an easy one.

    Thanks for stopping by my SC-post!

    Best wishes,
    Anna

    For the benefit of other readers:

    Anna's SC week 42 Maisy-Jane

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  5. How do I love thee. OMG, girl. you crack me up.

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  6. Clever and creative and LOL funny. Good writing, I say. I love the way you J's comments read as asides.

    Namaste..........cj

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  7. This made me laugh out loud. I love gals who break the rules. Very clever, I love the way you structured this. Kat

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  8. You are brave to ask these questions...not sure if I would! Very funny :)
    Gems x

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  9. This was really fun to read, June. I love your notes to self. I also love the cartoon. I hope you found non-destructable catcher's mitts at Dick's Sporting Goods.
    xoRobyn

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  10. Very clever! I loved this! I think my mister would have some of the same answers! Nice job!

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  11. Hahahaha! Nice one June. Very creative! Another one that made me laugh out loud!!
    ~Michelle

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  12. I think Mr. Fairway would throw the eggs out and order steak. What a cute post!

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  13. You are a lucky girl. My mister would do exactly.....none of those. I'm gonna go ask just to confirm...

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  14. What a good Mr. Mister you have! :)

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  15. Love the photo imagine and i can just imagine how much fun you had in putting that together!

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  16. I've got to start using the phrase "a dirt nap" more often.

    And I tremble to think of Mr. Jenners's responses to these questions.

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  17. OK, I think I love your husband.

    Please don't tell Mr. Jenny.

    And you made me laugh with your self-deprecating humor, here.

    You are all kinds of cool.

    Great use of this prompt.

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Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!