The inspiration for today's Saturday Centus prompt, the Bruno Mars song I'd Catch a Grenade For Ya, got me thinkin’ (never a good thing, BTW). I created a list of potentially life-threatening situations, and asked The Mister which ones he’d be willing to do FOR ME.
(J is for the questions asked by me, June…M is for The Mister’s responses).
Would The Mister…?
J: Risk touching the third rail if I fell beneath the subway?
M: No, but I would throw a belt around you and pull you off the track.
J: You better start working out buddy, I’m heavy.
J: Loosen the knots if I were tied to the track of an oncoming train?
M: Of course.
J: Snidely Whiplash, take note…The Mister means business.
J: Push me out of the way of the impact of the out-of-control car?
M: Most certainly.
J: I gotta check our limits for medical care on our insurance, pronto.
J: Sample the eggs first, if I fear the taint of salmonella?
M: I already do that.
J: Note to self: Clean the refrigerator, paying careful attention to expiration dates.
J: Be my Kevlar vest?
M: I’d be glad to wrap all the way around you.
J: I think he just wants sex…or, he’s just in one of his affectionate, huggy moods. Nobody’s safe. But in case he really means to protect me, I must start my diet and exercise program NOW, so his arms can reach around my too-ample middle.
J: Jump in the lion’s cage to rescue me at the zoo?
M: Do you want both of us to be eaten by the lion?
J: Note to self: Don’t lean on exhibit railings that have been installed by the lowest bidder.
J: Donate an organ if we were a match?
M: Ewww! That’s just gross.
J: Think about this a minute. He’ll risk life and limb, but not a wee slice of his liver. He’d let me DIE! Even when I explained that there would only be one little scar, and his liver would eventually regenerate…he’d let me take a dirt nap.
He’s a freak, I tell ya. The one situation that would include some of the best medical care in the nation, and he’s not interested…I guess I should re-think my grand plan to start on the road to alcoholism this year.
J: Catch a grenade for me?
M: Yes, and I'd throw it back at the person who tossed it.
J: Note to self: See if Dick’s Sporting Goods has a sale on catcher’s mitts, just in case.
If this ain’t love, I don’t know what is…