April 01, 2011

Book Blurb Friday - 04/01/11

Time again to give Book Blurb Friday another try. Lisa Ricard Claro, from Writing in the Buff, is our lovely hostess.

The goal today? Using the photo provided by Lisa, create a book jacket blurb. Tell the story in 150 characters, maximum.

Today's inspiration:


Elysium Garden
Clive Balsam loves gardening. He’s never happier than when he’s working in the damp, fragrant soil. When Clive's neighbor, Heather Wood, complains about the odor of manure wafting into her open windows, he bludgeons her with his garden rake. Frantic to hide her body, he puts her in the wood chipper, and incorporates her remains into the mulch.

His flower garden becomes the envy of the neighborhood.

Hoping to repeat his prior successes at the county fair garden competition, Clive must locate more "organic matter" to ensure his victory.

After Fern Lacy and Phil Dendron, Clive's nosy neighbors (and greatest competition at the fair) call the police to report Heather's disappearance, Clive knows that he's found his new source of fertilizer.

He begins to plot his next move, as well as plan his garden plot. Will he succeed and have a garden to die for?

19 comments:

  1. This'll tempt the horticultural detectives for sure! Love the names ...

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  2. Wow. Now that is the best blurb I've read today and I want to read the book. Genius!

    Book Blurb Friday

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  3. LOL This is brilliant! The names are a scream (I especially like Phil Dendron, representative of the only houseplant I am able to keep alive) and the whole thing grabbed me. This man is serious about his gardening. Oh, yeah...I'd buy it. After I stopped giggling.

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  4. I should never read your stuff when I have a full bladder. I am laughing so hard. Gotta run!You are amazing.

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  5. This is marvellous! The play on names is such fun - and really, the lengths some people will go to to win competitions;-)

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  6. Howdy!

    Starting a new feature at my blog called The MicroFiction Muse! Please pop in and take a look and hope to see you next week! :O)

    http://dianeestrella.com/?p=5099

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  7. Totally brilliant! Fun names and a compelling gardening mystery - I want to read this!

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  8. You are so twisted in the best possible way! It is like a cozy gardening mystery. Perhaps he can market his mulch under the name "Soylent Green."

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  9. This is fabulous :-) I love the blurb and I'd definitely read the book. Nice humour.

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  10. What a twist!!! I am cracking up. A bit of "Fargo" going on here, but without the snow, lol.
    Thanks for cheering me up with this gore.

    Kathy M.

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  11. Ah man...the wood chipper? Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy was right-I remember a wood chipper in Fargo...I'm glad I read this one at the light of day! LOL!

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  12. Oooh! Clive has some kind of green thumb!

    Pat
    www.critteralley.blogspot.com

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  13. Oh, this is dandy! Gardener with some gruesome traits...hum....

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  14. That is so funny. Love the names of course. I'm not into horror, but you make it sound fun!

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  15. June---I would put this one at the top of my pile. A little bit of Fargo (the wood chipper) a little bit of Fried Green Tomatoes ("The secret's in the mulch") and a bit of Little Shop of Horrors (having to kill more so the plant(s) can flourish).

    You definitely had fun writing this,and I most certainly had fun reading it. Thanks for sharing! (I took a lighthearted approach, but not nearly as clever as yours!)

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  16. Oh, wonderful. I knew I liked it as soon as I read "Clive Balsam." I'm telling you, horror-ticultural novels are the new rage.

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  17. wow, that was fun! I love it. I should do the same to my enemies but where shall I dump them? I don't have a garden...
    Grace

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Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!