I am the only one awake now. It is quiet. I sit here, holding a single sheet of paper and read the following:
You have certain judicial remedies for relief if you have been subjected to abuse.
Domestic "abuse" is a special statutory term that focuses on acts, attempts or threats by one "family or household member" against another.
I was pushed,my shoulders were grabbed and shaken, my arm was twisted and I was screamed at, directly into my ear (who knew that could hurt so much?).
Does it matter what set him off?
I feared that this day would occur - that The Boy would do me harm. My sister-in-law has been afraid of this for a long time.
I guess I've been in denial.
HE called the police from the neighbor's house and said that WE attempted to kill him.
I waited outside with The Boy, he told me that "I should look afraid" - so that The Mister would be arrested. The Mister never touched him. I never touched him.
I wondered if The Boy had moved from illness to evil with his lies.
I am the victim.
I did not press charges - it was surreal. It was sad. I'm not sure I did the right thing.
As victim, it was my decision.
My hand was shaking when I signed the police report.
The Boy helped me clean up glass shards - he had thrown a decorative dish across the room. The glass was spread through the living room, kitchen and hallway. I still haven't found the screwdriver he threw after he used it to slash a lampshade.
The police officer's shoes crunched on glass in the kitchen.
I just couldn't send The Boy to detention, he would not receive the care he needs.
He said that he doesn't deserve to live.
I do deserve to live. I crave peace.
The Mister doesn't agree with my decision - he fears that he'll come home and I'll be dead. I had to promise that I'd do what I need to do to stay safe.
Nobody should ever have to make that promise about their own child.
I don't know where to go from here, other than I want to never be in this position again.
Maybe the day has come that The Boy can't live here anymore.
My muscles ache, as does my heart. I am sad.
I was not afraid for myself while this was going on.
But I am afraid for him, and for his future...and I fear what would become of me if he has to be taken away.