Oscar Mayer Never Had It So Good
My human left me at home today
Planned a picnic for herself and her boyfriend, Jay.
She returned a little later, her sunburn plain to see.
She let me go outside so I could pee.
I whined, I panted, I whimpered and cried.
It’s 108 degrees, my paws are fried.
My human, being the epitome of sweet
Emptied her cooler on the hot concrete.
Jealous dogs I know will howl and drool
While I lie here and relax, feelin’ nice and cool.