I found a loophole. A workaround. I'm working the angles here.
He unfriended me on Facebook, so I write all my stuff there.
The Boy shares my ability/curse/talent to speak in full sentences while sleeping. When Shannon and Erin were little, they'd ask me for money for Dairy Queen while I was asleep and I'd tell them to get money out of my purse...and the little shits would feast on Dilly Bars and cones with wild abandon.
I had to enact a law to prohibit them from taking advantage of my generosity while I was unconscious.
Too bad The Boy doesn't have the ability to enact legislation like that for me.
The Boy also walks in his sleep sometimes. I have had to tell him to go back to sleep numerous times, and have prevented him from going outside a time or two.
He's a font of amusement 24/7.
Almost nightly, I post his latest sleeptalking messages on Facebook. Here are some of the latest messages (when he's heavily medicated and under the influence of the Sandman):
Top 10 Sleeptalking Conversations with The Boy
- "Your Highness should be fine."
- Sitting up ramrod straight, he shouts, "I have a great idea!" (No further clue on what the idea was).
- "Whoa. Because of something I did with magic or whatever, I have a new best friend." I asked him who his friend is. "Oh, never mind."
- Everything they had had 'stupid' written on it." I was talking to Erin on the phone and said, "Really" (to her). The Boy said, "Yeah."
- "I'm working on it! I'm working on getting an autograph of the restaurant."
- He suddenly sits up on the couch and says, "I made a blanket. I have eighteen openings for ponies to go through, so I made a blanket." Then he lays down and goes back to sleep.
- "Guess, guess. You want to guess. You know what I'm doing. Guess."
Then a bit later:
"Two, two, two, you know. Two equals eena."
Must be new Math. I can only assume he gave me the answer because I refused to guess.
- "OMG! Whoa! That's just...just WOW."
I asked, "What?"
"Just wow. Just wow. How long will they be able to hold it?"
"The internet." Then he grinned and went back to sleep.
- With his arm extended and his hand firmly in the "talk to the hand" position, he very dramatically said, "How DARE YOUUUUUU! HOW DARE YOUUUUUU!"