January 29, 2013

Jobs I've Never Had

Courtesy of SurFeRGiRL30
Creative Commons
Here's a list of companies who WON'T be calling me to interview for a job opening:

Pepsi
This one actually happened to me. I did have an interview with Pepsi in one of the Carolinas. My potential managers and co-workers were friendly and chatty.

Me: "I'll have to switch to Diet Pepsi."
Employee: "My husband likes Coke, too. I drive across town to an unfamiliar neighborhood to buy his Coke - nobody from work lives in that area, so they'll never see it."

The Pepsi and Coke folks are very serious about their specific cola's superiority. The competition is fierce. After I got home from the interview, the recruiter called to tell me that they really liked me...but I wouldn't be getting the job because I said I drank Diet Coke. For days, I wondered if the employee I talked to was worried that I'd turn informant about her husband's Coke habit.

EDS (Electronic Data Systems). EDS used to be owned by H. Ross Perot, erstwhile gazillionaire and unsuccessful Presidential candidate. I interviewed for a job there and knew within minutes I'd never fit in. The offices were impressive, the equipment was state-of-the-art. The employees were polite and cheerful. I felt like I fell into a Stepford Wives and Husbands movie. They were too polite, and dressed very conservatively.  This was in the mid-90s, after the workplace became much more casual. 

The dress code included dark suits, solid colored dress shirts, neckties, and lace-up shoes for the men. Men were required to have short hair and not sport any facial hair. Women had to wear skirt suits with a solid colored blouse (no prints). Panty hose and sensible heels were required. There was no casual Friday, and jeans were never to be worn. 

I used to dress up for work, but had gotten out of the practice. I'd have to buy a new wardrobe to meet their requirements. No thank you.

IHOP/Waffle House/any place that serves breakfast

This one needs little explanation. Let's just say I won't be mixing any pancake batter at these fine establishments:


3 comments:

  1. I interviewed for a job back in the early 90s and the interviewer looked just like Pierce Brosnan in his Remington Steele days. LOL I couldn't get past his looks and literally sat there with my mouth open. LOL Needless to say, I didn't get a call back!

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  2. Ha ha, you may have created anew breakfast menu item.

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  3. Hey … glad to see someone else cooks imperfect breakfasts just like me. You should see what happens when I try to fold an omelet. It isn't pretty.

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