I've lost my give-a-shit over the past several days. I.just.don't.care.about.anything. Really.
Dirty dishes in the sink? Who cares?
Laundry undone? Big deal.
Maybe it's the last vestiges (I hope) of winter that has me down. Tonight, the rain and sleet slide down the windows; the world is wet and cold. Blahsville.
Oh, have I ever mentioned that I hate the month of February? For me, it's the worst month of winter. And I don't believe that whole "Thirty days hath September" rhyme - in my mind, February is the longest month...and it's spelled so stupidly.
The Mister would like me to bake him a cake. From a boxed mix, no less. That should be easy peasy, right?
The box mocks me from the kitchen counter. If I had any gumption I'd make the cake (ugh, boxed cake - I've turned into a baking snob) - or I'd put the mix back in the cabinet so I don't have to look at it. I've avoided both tasks since Sunday.
I have writing submissions to complete and mail.
I could read...but I don't.
I urge The Boy to look inside (or on top of) the dryer for clean jeans. Folding the laundry seems like a gargantuan task...and putting his clothes away would involve a complicated trek of about ten feet.
I don't dare risk it.
Oh, the job thing? My projects are delayed. I'm sad that I can't dig in and do some work for pay. It'll happen - but I was so ready to start at the beginning of the month. I do what I can until the real fun begins.
My patience has gone AWOL; my enthusiasm and determination, like Elvis and his fried peanut butter, banana and mayonnaise sandwich, have left the building.
I'm going to blame it all on the month of purification and purging, February.
February: My Year's Bad Penny
You show up, efficient and quick
The audacity of the New Year has been brought down a peg or two
our resolutions soon forgotten
The groundhog (and Jordyn's birthday) the one bright spot
For four weeks I'm plagued by your starkness
And we all know that guests, like fish, smell after three days
Yet you're still here, bringing along The Boy's darkest days
The weather, typically cold and mostly cloudy
the sun occasionally teases us with its presence as it scoots across the sky
Too soon, the gloaming sky returns, its inkiness blotting out the stars
The last gasp of Winter, impending storms
I seek the comfort and warmth of Spring
I yearn for the promise of new growth through Nature's verdant hand
February, I have no love for you, despite Cupid's appearance
Finish your business and be off with you
I'll smile as I turn the calendar page
March crocuses burst forth, heralding your end