June 19, 2009

His Chicken is Lonely!

I am a member of a local Yahoo recycling group. Folks can offer items they have no need for. They can also post items that are wanted - these are the focus of my post today.

I am regularly surprised by what folks are asking for: Major, matching, working appliances, expensive exercise equipment, running automobiles, etc. I should point out that no money changes hands here, all of this stuff is supposed to be FREE.

I'm in favor of recycling - we all throw out perfectly good stuff, and it's filling the landfills. If someone else can get use out of it, God bless 'em. But don't expect total strangers to completely clothe your children, furnish your home, and support your cell phone habit (yes, there's about one cell phone wanted posting each week).

Here's a recent Wanted posting that got my big girl panties in a wad:
  1. At least 2, preferably 4 decent tires size P215/65 R15 or P205/60 R15.
  2. Working LP or electric stove.
  3. Working washer and dryer. Don't have to match, just work. If dryer is gas, it needs to be for LP gas.
  4. Chicken that lays eggs. I am down to just one now and she is laying an egg a day, but is lonely!
  5. Rooster.
  6. Gutter material.
  7. Sliding windows, awnings or anything that can be useful if fixing up a rental trailer so I can get it rented.
  8. Carpet and pad.
  9. Hardwood or tile for my own house. I hate carpet!
The person who posted this is a 46-year old single man, a master jeweler (according to his profile, if that can be believed), although when looking at his profile picture, I'd have thought he was a magician. Must be the tux and bow tie (and the red flower on his lapel just may squirt).

Now I know that times are tough, so I can cut the guy some slack on the tires, and the stove. Even the washer and dryer, but his specificity about LP gas is starting to bug me. But I have to draw the line at lonely poultry! Lonely and loveless poultry, apparently, since his next request is a rooster!

He absolutely loses me on the rest of his requests. I will not support his desire to be a slumlord. Gutter material, used windows and awnings and carpet for his rental trailer? Eww. And then he finishes off with the personal request of hardwood or tile for his own home, since he is a master jeweler, after all, and can't have just ANY used flooring material for himself...only his future tenants get the gross used carpet and padding.

So, he wants people to give him stuff so he can earn rental income...and drive to his job...and eat eggs, and to wash that tuxedo once in a while.
Hell, he wants someone to hook up his chicken (gives new meaning to the term 'wing man')!

This guy's wish list was extreme, but he's not the only one asking for stuff that I think folks should provide themselves. There are regular requests for birthday gifts for children and grandchildren (yeah, like every little girl wants the used Princess party supplies for her party. Buy your own damned gifts and decorations). There are requests for furniture, dishes, bedding, mattresses, and/or linens from the folks setting up housekeeping for the first time. I know for me, used sheets and towels just scream H-O-M-E!

For some unknown reason, I keep reading these messages. I'll stop when someone posts the first request for an organ (no, not the Hammond upright)...I'm talking body parts here. Mark my words, that day will come.


  1. Oddly enough I have one, egg laying chicken (Grey) She lost her cage mate (Goldie, who layed blueish eggs) just two weeks ago. I also have one young rooster from this years starter chicks. Only problem being is that I like Grey and do not want to get rid of her. She's a good old girl with a bent beak and she growls instead of clucks. The rooster will make a fine meal in about 6 more weeks as he is not needed for egg production.

    Now anyone who lives in the country and not hooked up to city Natural gas lines knows that a stove using NG is no good what so ever out in the middle of nowhere. LP is required and why even ask for one you can't use... you wouldnt have an old working hot tub around would you?

  2. Jim,
    It sounds like I should hook you guys up about the rooster!

    Thanks for reading my blog.

  3. Didn't someone offer up a kidney or something on Craigslist at some point in the past? I don't remember specifics but it incited some controversy (really? why?) and the ad was removed. Probably cause it's illegal. LOL Course, I guess that's different than trading maybe. Heh. Good grief.

  4. This is hilarious! The scary thing is ...I don't think you are kidding!! I tell ya...I am just not shocked at anything anymore. What happened to the days of your namesake??

    Have a great weekend over there in St. Louis...I miss it.


  5. Dan,
    No kidding here. The posting was copied word for word (though I might have added some punctuation).

    Actually, I thought there weren't any real June Cleavers anymore. But the blogs I read tell me otherwise. There are many traditional families out there where mama keeps the home fires burning while daddy is off doing the "man's work".

    The big difference now is the technology. These moms share a cup of coffee over their wireless connection instead of over the backyard fence or across the kitchen table.

    I imagine that they feel less isolated than I probably felt when I first channeled June in the mid-70s when my daughters were little.

    If the economy were still strong, I'd never have gotten this little peek into their lives, because I'd be just another mom who works outside the home.

    Lucky me! This is some fun stuff.

  6. Hmm...some people are tough to figure out!


Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!