June 04, 2009
Today, I have with me in the June Freaking Cleaver living room/computer zone, my son, The Boy. I told him yesterday that I'd interview him and I'd put his answers here, for everyone to read. If you've read some of my posts, you know The Boy is a frequent subject (and if he ever reads them all, I fear a tell-all book is in his future).
Ok, let's begin, shall we?
Me: Glad you could tear yourself away from DVDs and Nintendo DS. How are you today?
Boy: Pretty good. (Faking smoking a joint), "I'm flying, man"...just kidding.
Me: Ok, the basics - How old are you?
Boy: Thirteen. I'll be fourteen in July.
Me: What do you want people to know about you?
Boy: I'm just like everyone else, I'm just a little bit different.
Me: How are you different?
Boy: Well, my Bipolar disorder and my little bit of autism. I kinda scare people sometimes. They think I'm going to hurt them or something. I don't really hurt people, but they think I will. I'm sick of all the Bipolar people jokes, they think we're psychotic. In fact I saw something on Toontown Online*. Many people are naming their bears Bi-polar (like 'Bearry Bi-polar'). It gets me angry. It makes me sad that they can use a problem and make fun of it.
Me: Did you ever think they use the Bipolar name because they're bipolar? How would you feel about it if they were bipolar?
Boy: Oh no. No, I didn't. If they were bipolar, I'd feel right in touch with them.
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Boy: Two things. Either a puppeteer working for the Muppets, or the head archivist working for the Jim Henson company. That's about it.
Me: Do you think you can reach those goals?
Boy: Maybe, if I try hard enough.
Me: What is your best quality?
Boy: I'm very friendly, if they don't a) tick me off, or b) make fun of me.
Me: What happens if they make fun of you?
Boy: I go psycho, ok! (using the Muppet Pepe the King Prawn accent). I get a little ticked off at them and I tell them it's not very nice to do that. Then I walk away.
Me: What are your plans for the summer?
Boy: I'm actually planning on writing something for your blog, but I'm not telling you what it is. I'm planning on going to camp, and to work on stuff. I'm going to do some stuff for the 4th of July, as long as it relates to blowing stuff up, fireworks, of course.
Me: How did you do in school this year?
Boy: Well, I passed, if that's what you mean. I made a few friends. I got a good report card. Ms. McKenna was nice. And that's about it.
Me: What do you like best about me?
Boy: Actually, getting to do this, sweetie. Heh. Heh heh. Letting me have more than one Coke a day. Coke Zero, of course. (Hugging ensues). You actually let me live here.
Me: What do you like best about The Mister?
Boy: Next question, please. (Silence ensues).
Me: I know you enjoy reading, can you tell our readers what you are reading now?
Boy: Isn't it obvious? (Holding up Mad magazine). Comics, stuff like that. History of the Muppets, Jim Henson, some other puppet books. And your blog (gratuitous plug)...no, I lied.
Me: What is your best quality?
Boy: Hold on, I'll be right back. He returns with a raccoon puppet. I'm good with children.
Me: What do you think of my blog?
Boy: It's okay. I'm liking that you're letting me do something for once. It's not really 'ha ha' funny, or 'ho ho' funny or 'he he' funny...it's pretty good because it's coming from a wench funny (he called me a wench. Let's see how long before he scores another Coke Zero). (Apologies ensue).
Me: Last question - If you could have a positive effect on our future, what would it be?
Boy: I would help younger children become the best they could be. That's it.
He went off to dry his hair so we can take his picture. Also, during the entire interview, he was checking my spelling and punctuation.
The Boy would like you to guess the character on his T-shirt. Also, here's some info about Toontown Online (where The Boy spends many hours of time, making the world a safer place for toons).
From the Disney Toontown Online site:
* Disney's Toontown Online, the first massively multiplayer online game designed specifically for kids and families, is an award-winning, kid-safe, endlessly evolving, and immersive 3-D online world.
Posted by Kim at 11:01 AM