August 31, 2009

OK, Who's Ready to be Mature?

We're home from the wedding adventure. But the games continue...

Let's look at the definition of grown-up:
not childish or immature.

There were some really tall, over the age of 21 people who didn't act like grown-ups. I gave birth to one, and married one.

They are very much alike, though it would make either or both of them ill to think it were so. They like to be right. They are opinionated, and aren't afraid to verbalize what they think. Neither one of them played nice this weekend.

Erin (the bride) told me she didn't like the Mister at all, that he was an arrogant jerk. Fine, she's entitled to her opinion. What wasn't so cool was that she made her announcement in front of my EX HUSBAND AND HIS WIFE. Score one crabby point for Erin.

The Mister found many things not to his liking while the rehearsal was going on. He decided to verbalize his feelings. Score one crabby point for The Mister.

Remember, it was not the Mister's wedding; it was Erin and Daryl's - they paid for the wedding, they can do whatever they want to celebrate their day.

At the reception, The Boy decided to use his formidable (at least in his mind) skills as a lady's man - and proceeded to hit on all the married women. He consumed several Shirley Temples, maybe the bubbles went to his head. He would use such witty remarks as, "Gee, maybe it's the drink getting to me, but you look great today."

When it came time for dancing, The Boy wanted to coerce these women to dance with him. Unfortunately, they were not interested. So he kicked it up a notch, and started touching them (a BIG NO-NO). His social skills deficits were oh so apparent; he was rebuffed again and again.

At one point, he had his hands on the photographer's shoulders, so The Mister went into action and told him to stop. The Boy and he argued, and The Mister grabbed The Boy's arm to pull him back to the tables.

Don't grab The Boy when he's upset, it's not pretty.

The Boy yelled. The Boy stormed out. Everyone inside the reception (and in the adjacent condominium complex outside) heard him. I stood outside in the heat of the evening, trying to calm him down.

The Mister at this point walked off, into the night.

Erin came out and told me that I ruined her wedding - and just repeated that sentiment this morning on IM.

I am hurt and angry and disappointed and filled with negative feelings towards people I love.

It sucks.


  1. Sorry things did not go so well at the wedding. I'm even more sorry that the bride felt YOU ruined her wedding when everything that happened was completely out of your hands. I hope things calm down soon and she can come to her senses and apologize to you.

    I'm sure you are feeling pretty miserable about the whole thing, so hope things get better soon.

  2. I dont think it's fair for the bride to have blamed you for what occured. You had no control over their actions.

    Something like this occured at my Sweet 16 party. My cousin got into a fight with her fiance & took it out on my mom by slapping her in front of everyone because my mom asked if she was ok. One thing led to another & before you know it my mom, cousin, her mom & my dad are in a huge brawl. All because of one persons attitude. I blamed my cousin for not keeping her problems to herself, not anyone else.

    I hope everything settles down quickly & I'm sure the bride & groom will get over it.

  3. I kinda stalk your blog, but don't leave comments. I love reading about The Boy and am impressed with you as you love him through all he deals with. You are a good mother. You love your children and do the best you can. It is impressive.

    Your daughter will get over it. So will the Mister.

    It sucks to be the Mom sometimes.

  4. So sorry to hear how things turned out.

  5. I'm sorry. I can feel this pain and place myself there, as you. It could be any of us mothers...doing the best we can, trying to set the world to rights for a special day, but having those we love see only fault. I am truly sorry.

  6. Oh no! There's always SOME drama at a wedding, but I am really sorry that so much of it fell on your shoulders. Maybe blow them all off and tell them that since they ruined your chance for a fun night out you'll see them when you get back from Cabo. Maybe?!?!!?

  7. I have a different take on this. My mother ruined my wedding reception by causing a scene and starting a fight with my husband. She still, six years later, thinks she was the victim. She has tried to ruin every single special day of my life for years now.
    To all of you well meaning people who feel sorry for mom here, please remember that there are two sides to every story.

  8. Switzerland,
    I am sorry that your reception was ruined, just as I am sorry that my daughter feels the same way.

    I don't see you as neutral here, perhaps your name isn't as accurate as you'd like us to believe.

    Thanks for your opinion.

  9. Wow, I'm sorry to hear about all of this. Being disappointed at loved ones is never easy.

    I gave you an award on my blog :) Hope that makes you feel a little bit better :)

  10. I'm sorry that your daughter thinks that YOU ruined her wedding. It sounds like everything that happened was completely out of your control. I'm really sorry. It could be any of us. Mothers always get the blame.

    Weddings are stressful.

  11. I am sorry that things didnt go as anyone hoped!

  12. Did you miss the memo? Motherhood is a thankless job.

    Congratulations on wielding that much control over your daughter. You, single handedly, ruined her wedding.

    Were not the flowers nice? The ceremony beautiful? Her decorations tasteful? The food delicious?

    Who knows? You, with all your Herculean power, ruined the ceremony, decorations, food, dancing, gown, music, wedding cake, etc.

    Pass me your firebolt, Hercules. I'd like a turn with unlimited power.

  13. By the way, you do know you and Erin will have a few awkward moments and it will be all right again? She was feeling anxious and needed a target. Mothers have a bullseye painted on their chest.

    Hang in there.

  14. How frustrating. So much tension at weddings to begin with, and brides tend to be high strung (not knowing Erin, but just knowing brides...).

    I went to a wedding once where, during the reception, the bride was going to present her mother with a bouquet and heartfelt thankful speech and etc. and the mom was so upset by the presence of her ex-husband that she walked out. Just up and walked out in the middle of the speech leaving bride there looking awkward and sad. SHE almost ruined the whole day. But even the bride managed to forgive her soon after...

    Sounds like you were a relatively innocent bystander...

  15. Very classy handling of the non-neutral comment...

    I am sorry you got loaded with all of this. I feel bad for the bride-- not because her wedding was "ruined" but because she's put so much weight on an incident (or two or three) rather than what they day was supposed to signify. She'll mature one day.


Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!