September 28, 2009

You Can't Teach an Old Boy New Tricks

Remember, we spent some time in court on Friday? The same court where The Boy was given probation for his infractions at school late last month.

Today, The Boy had another major outburst at school. On his first day back after his adjudication hearing. The hearing where the judge told him in no uncertain terms that he better not return to the courtroom.

Today's incident occurred in the late afternoon - he almost made it through the day with a perfect score sheet for behavior.

The school officer was summoned...again. We received the obligatory phone call from school; they did not put him on the bus to come home because he was too angry.

The school police officer filed a report, and notified The Boy's DJO (Deputy Juvenile Officer), aka, the probation guy. So far, he has not been re-arrested.

I had to pick The Boy up at school. When I got there, he was in the calm down room (a small, padded room - think isolation at a mental hospital). He was yelling at the school program director, and crying.

Tonight, we sit here waiting to find out if this outburst is enough to revoke his probation, and whether he gets sent to detention.

I am at a loss here - what does it take to get a message through this kid's head? I'd have thought the two and half days in detention would act as a deterrent...I was mistaken.

I hate having these possibly life-altering decisions out of my control.

My fear is that we've lost him.


  1. I suppose it's a lesson that he'll have to learn the hard way. I'm sorry.

  2. I have no words that could possibly ease your mind and cant even begin to understand what you must be going through...I am so sorry

  3. I am so sorry. Good luck.

    What is the school doing to prevent this behavior? It sounds like some significant changes need to be made.

  4. I sympathize with you. I know it seems impossible to deal with this kinda stuff on an every day basis. I worked for a middle school behavioral disorder classroom for a few years. I was the person that de-escalated the kids. I sat in that little padded room with the individual while they were going bonkers. We used the Dubuque Management System, which I did learn through the school system.
    One thing I learned about these kids is that they don't like feeling the way they feel either.
    The only bad thing is the consequences are hard learned, but when explosion hits, they aren't thinking consequences. My heart goes out to you. I pray that you can get the help you need to deal with all the emotion that goes along with a child who is needing love and patience.

  5. Praying for a positive outcome.

  6. I do not know enough about your son or the situation to be dispensing advice. What I do know is how hard it is to watch your child self distruct. Not easy...not at all.

  7. Oh shoot - I can't say anything witty or compelling. All you can do is love him like crazy and hope for the best. I can't even imagine how you feel right now. I am truly, truly sorry and am praying for your family.

  8. Oh jeez. My heart is breaking for you. I can't imagine what you can do that you haven't done already. That must be incredibly frustrating and sad to have this out of your control like this. Poor kid. I'm thinking of you.

  9. I think you need to consider having him certified and admitted for a short time, even, to a mental health facility. The stigma sucks, but they may really be able to help him. You could always ask the judge if he would consider this option!


Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!