January 28, 2010

Your Assignment, Should You Choose to Accept - 1/28/10

Another week down the crapper, and it's time once again to participate at Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

The prompt I chose this week: Write a series of tweets that ultimately end with a line that I actually tweeted on Friday night: ”And then I sat on those remaining in the pack…and pulled the glowing sticks from under my ass.”

Boy, that Mama Kat sure has a full life, doesn't she?

Here's my attempt at reconstructing a Twitter conversation with Mama Kat's ending:

JuneFreakingCleaver Hey girl! How you be?
OSG_Benjamin I'm fine and dandy! How the hell are you?
JuneFreakingCleaver My ass hurts so bad I can't sit. I burned it the other night.

OSG_Benjamin How in the world did you do that?
OSG_Benjamin Did The Mister finally light a fire under your ass? LOL

JuneFreakingCleaver No LOL, I'm just a moron...lol

OSG_Benjamin Wow! Have you seen your PCP about the burn?
JuneFreakingCleaver No way, remember, no health insurance...sigh. And it's embarrassing!

OSG_Benjamin So June, tell me how you burned your butt?
JuneFreakingCleaver Remember, I told you I've had laryngitis for two weeks now?

JuneFreakingCleaver My throat hurts so much, I'm not smoking as much, and I need my nicotine fix.
OSG_Benjamin June, you mean to tell me you're STILL smoking?
JuneFreakingCleaver Yep, aren't I a dope? But I figured out how to smoke with my sore throat the other night.
OSG_Benjamin What did you do?
JuneFreakingCleaver I figured I needed the nicotine, so I had to figure out a way to get it into my system
JuneFreakingCleaver Don't laugh when I tell you what I did...
OSG_Benjamin No promises...but I must say, I AM intrigued!
JuneFreakingCleaver I went outside and lit up a whole pack, waited until they were burning good.

JuneFreakingCleaver I was so worried someone would see me
OSG_Benjamin Huh? Why?
JuneFreakingCleaver Ok, it was dark out. I pulled down my pants and...
JuneFreakingCleaver  And then I sat on those remaining in the pack...and pulled the glowing sticks from under my ass.

My tweeting buddy? None other than Dr. Regina Benjamin, Surgeon General of the United States! 

Now when she calls me a flaming asshole, it fits. 

Please visit Mama Kat for all the prompts and responses that are certainly not as lame as mine is!  


  1. I just died when I saw the caption under the picture.

    And, I was wondering how participants were going to make the Twitter conversation about his. Hilarious.

  2. Bwa Ha Ha Ha! Very clever.

    stopped by from mama kat's

  3. Liked it! Great! I wasn't even going to attempt to do that prompt, so kudos to you for stringing something clever together.

  4. What, you mean you didn't try to induce suction to get still more nicotine? For shame!

    Next time just wear a patch - it beats blisters on the bum. (Or else finally give up smoking. It can be done; I did it and was a 3 pack a day smoker to boot.)

  5. OK, laughing my flaming ass off. Right now...

  6. OMG LMAO that is classic!!! Flaming asshole hahaha I'm still cracking up!

  7. Funny! Love the way you tied it all together. The caption is very witty.

  8. You rocked this ... I wanted to give it a try but then the Little One got sick and I had to pay attention to him and all that.

  9. That was very funny- this is the first time I am reading your blog and I am very impressed!

  10. Can I just freakin' tell you that I thought and thought about how I could use this prompt and it just wasn't workin' for me. YOU, my dear bloggy friend, have MASTERED this prompt!

    Clever, clever, clever...

  11. You are certainly creative!

    PS I am really enjoying The Boy's Blog!

  12. Keep posting stuff like this i really like it


Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!