March 19, 2010

Go Ahead, Make Babies with a Deadbeat - You'll Feel Better About Yourself

You're damned if you do, moms, and you're damned if you don't. Look what we do to ourselves...

A study in the journal Personal Relationships spoke with 78 dual wage earner couples with an 8-month old baby. Here's what it found:

If the dad was great with the baby, and shared in the childcare, the moms felt bad about themselves. The conclusion is due to societal expectations - moms are supposed to be the primary caregivers; so if your husband is uber helpful, then you're not doing your Supermom best.

If the dad did not share in the childcare, then the moms felt better about themselves, because they were fulfilling society's role of primary caregiver. The study made no mention of physical or mental exhaustion from all this overachieving behavior.

And overall, husbands rated their wives as excellent mothers - the moms, on the other hand, rated their husbands lower, even if they were of the helpful variety.

It seems like the poor guys can't catch a break, either.

I guess that means it's all fair, right?

You can read more about the study here.

For all you women considering marriage and subsequent reproduction with a lazy bum who has no real interest in parenting duties? Go for it, ladies! You'll be able to look yourself in the mirror and know that you're doing a bangup job...just avoid staring at your unwashed hair, puke-stained shirt, and the undereye circles caused by lack of sleep.

Gee, too bad I'm too old for childbearing - it almost makes me want to jump back in the gene pool.


  1. haha! I laugh but basically we're raising our granddaughter so I guess I DID jump back in the gene pool I just didn't realize it til just this second!

  2. Thats almost scary!! My hubs is really helpful, even takes care of the boys when I have to work on Sat, and I do not feel the least bit bad about any of it! Good thing they didn't have me in their study!

  3. I MADE the hubby help out. And I feel very happy with my freaking self.

  4. Hahahaha

    Happy Friday!
    Following you from MBC,
    Please, check out my blog and follow me back ?


    Half Brazilian-Half Irish


  5. I don't know...I read this as women being unable to catch a break due to the expectations of them. When we don't do it all we feel like failures, and when we ask for (or receive) help we feel like bigger failures. And who are all these people judging us as failures or not? Other women/mothers. It bites.

  6. LOL!!

    Happy Friday Follow..I'm your newest follower! Love for you to come visit me!

    Have a great weekend :)
    ~Shelley @ Shelley's Swag

  7. Love it! Following from Friday Follow!

  8. We're jumping back in the gene pool too by helping to raise our new grandbaby to be.

  9. Following you from a late Friday Follow. Your blog is very informative. I look forward to reading more in the archives.

    You can also follow me at

  10. What. The. Eff.

    This ties in with something that I've been fuming about recently. The whole 'Women can do it all' BS. Women shouldn't HAVE to do it all. We're not martyrs. We're not robots. We get tired, we feel lazy, we want things, we need things.

    A man taking an afternoon nap on a Saturday while a baby cries in the background? Perfectly acceptable. A woman not being able to look amazing, work 40 hours, raise a baby and cook a delicious meal (preferably in 30 minutes or less) after waking up all hours of the night to soothe an infant? Well you better not complain because you should be able to 'do it all'.

    And do it all while cutting your man some slack for not understanding and helping him find the remote control because he is JUST a MAN.

    Women's Lib my ass.

    *Steps off soapbox*

    My man helps. AND I'm a SAHM. I'm on-call 24/7 and have NO problem passing him the laundry basket every Saturday.

  11. Lord, we women are messed up, aren't we?

  12. lol - I'm following from Friday Follow. People are crazy; I'll read the study later - enjoyed the post.


Thanks for stopping by. I love your comments...I get all warm inside just reading them!