April 09, 2010

The Shit's Gonna Hit the Fan...Or Something Like That

We live in an area that would classified as rural. I think the population of our little town is about 3.600, if you can believe the green sign on a local highway.

I'm glad we're not in the middle of dairy country, or I'd fear lighting a cigarette outside.

I'm so very glad I'm not living near Tony Goltstein, of Winchester, Indiana. The dairy farmer, who has fallen on hard times, has been unable to properly maintain his manure sludge pond. A single dairy cow produces 148 POUNDS of manure a day - now, that's a lot of SHIT.

Huge bubbles are forming under the black plastic liner. Any day now, Winchester, IN, could be facing a literal shitstorm.

See the bubble behind Mr. Goltstein in the picture? He has numerous bubbles forming on his farm (the bubbles can be seen from satellites circling the Earth).

Underneath, lots of percolating (and decaying) manure. Can you say methane explosion? Can you imagine the mess?

Mr. Goltstein's farm is in foreclosure, he cannot afford to repair his ponds. He has suggested that he and his son could cut a slit in the plastic, while sitting on a paddleboat.

Hell, the ensuing methane could blow their damned heads off! And wouldn't that manure just shoot out, like a geyser?

Neighbors are afraid of just that. I suppose if it blows, we'll hear about it on the news.

I'm sitting here imagining an eco-friendly amusement park...come on, kids, let's ride the Poop Pond Paddleboats! If we make it in the next fifteen minutes, we can see Old Stinky, the manure geyser!

Maybe I should call Al Gore - talk about an inconvenient truth.

You can read the whole story here.


  1. Holy crap. Sorry I couldn't resist that :) That's crazy!

  2. Well, now I know where to go on our next vacation!


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