May 02, 2010

One More Reason Why My Life is Not Like a Movie

I've been taking notice of movie sets lately, and I've begun to notice things that NEVER happen at my house, like they do in movies:
The scenario:
You know when a character has to leave town in a hurry? He or she opens the closet, grabs a suitcase that is very close at hand, and begins to throw clothes from the dresser into the suitcase. 

Why it would never happen for me:
Suitcase just sitting near the closet door? Nope. I think our suitcases are in the shed, but maybe they're in another closet (it's not like I use them regularly - I'd have to find the damned things first). Also, the laundry, folded nicely in the drawers? In my dreams, people. 

Never have I seen a movie character have to run to the laundry room and rescue wrinkled clothes from several days in the dryer, or worse yet, sniff the clothes in the washer to determine if they need to be washed again. Then I'd have to fold the wrinkled clothes, and try to put outfits together, which would involve at least one frantic trip back to the closet for stuff on hangers. There's just no way I could make a quick getaway.

Let's say I did manage to pack quickly...where are my car keys? I would need the GPS to find my way to the airport. And do you know how expensive last minute tickets are? Wonder how much it costs to assume a new identity? Do I have enough ready cash for a new life?

I guess the serial killer / deranged ex-spouse / mafia hit man / drug kingpin with shady international ties could avoid racing through traffic to get me. He/she could probably stop at Starbucks, too. And no need to add breaking and entering to the rap sheet - just sit in the driveway, I'll get out there eventually.

Other than a set designer, wardrobe and makeup staff, and craft services (to cater my life), the only thing missing is a soundtrack. Maybe that would give me better odds of survival when danger lurks outside my door.

What would make YOUR life more like a movie?


  1. This is so true! My life would be more like a movie if the kid conveniently disappeared into the background while the adults did something ... not something that seems to happen around here. The kid is ALWAYS around. Always!

  2. Hey June....have you been peaking in my windows?? Wrinkled clothes in the dryer? Damp clothes in the washer?? I'm with you on everything you said! I particularly love it when people pull those perfectly folded, mens dress shirts, from the drawers and lay them in the suitcases! Yeah, right! And hmmmm, what would make MY life more like a movie? Well, it kind of depends on the movie! Which...perfect segue to MY blog...pop on over and read about...none other, than MOVIES!

  3. My life would be more like a movie if I woke up gorgeous with my makeup perfectly intact. Of course, then I'd have to actually wear makeup.


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