May 08, 2010

Would Wearing Green Colored Contact Lenses Make Me Jealous?

I don't DO jealous. I see no future in it. I've already had the spouse with a wandering eye (and Roman hands and Russian fingers); had I been jealous about it, he still would have strayed. And I've even heard of folks who stray initially because they have a partner who's accusing them, there's that.

Back to the present. And The Mister. And his tax season "wife".

He's been working with her for a few years, only at tax season. The other employees in the office have dubbed her his tax season "wife", because they argue (good naturedly) like an old married couple.

The Mister would sometimes bring breakfast to his "wife" when he worked weekends. They both worked the evening shift - and he'd stay to make sure she got to her car safely. Hey, it's a big, bad world out there.

Near the end of tax season, The Mister said that we were invited to a Red Lobster luncheon with his "wife" (last year, HE paid for the luncheon, it's her turn). And after lunch, The Mister would drive to his "wife's" house to help her with some electrical wiring.

I was asked if I'd like to attend. I declined. 

In hindsight, I think the offer was The Mister's version of a jealousy test. I think I failed - I truly believe he wanted me to show some level of concern about them being alone together.

Why would I want to spend untold hours in a dusty basement with electrical cable? Let's weigh the options: basement vs. nap in the quiet house...hmmm. Tough one. Also, I figured this job would take a long time - someone needs to be here guarding the refrigerator when The Boy comes home from school. I made that sacrifice.

True to my estimate, The Mister didn't return until almost 8pm. 

And he returned to her house today, to finish the job. Once again, I declined.

I'm sure the suspicious gals would have gussied themselves up and tagged along, watching for surreptitious glances and coded language between the two of them.

No thanks. I had a nap on my agenda.

So, am I a fool to be this trusting? Should I put on Spanx and tart myself up in makeup (egads!) to accompany The Mister on his next mission of mercy? How does one work themselves up into a good sense of jealousy?

Being deficient in feminine wiles is such a drag.


  1. Sorry I'm of no help in this department. If there is no sign of something why stir the dust to make one?

  2. Ward "the Mister" Cleavers says.

    This was not a jealousy test. I knew the tax wife before I had met June. If I had any intrest in her at all, I would have acted on it a long time ago.

    As June knows, I am a nice fellow and I have the patience of a Saint. I put up with June dont I? I was just helping a friend in need.

    And one thing June misinterpeted, I was given the free lunch because, I helped the "Tax Wife" with several problems she had during the year. And June also recieved lunch because I voluntered, "without pay" to do the electrical work. There wasn't a my turn your turn thing involved.

    Ward "The Mister" Cleaver

  3. Dear Ward,
    Like the Carly Simon song says...Once again, you probably think this blog is about you...don't you...don't you...don't you.

    MY blog, MY rules, MY stories.

    Don't worry your pretty little head, ok?

  4. I think you only have to worry if they aren't so open about it. I'd choose a nap any day too.

  5. I think you're right. Either you trust or you don't. Doesn't matter if you go or not, really. If it's okay, it's okay. If not then not.

    Life's too short to worry.

  6. Laughing at Wards comment...hilarious!

    I would have chosen the nap too


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