June 18, 2010

I Knew it was Bad News when Facebook Said She Wanted to be My Friend

I got a Facebook friend request the other day, and it filled me with dread. The sense of impending doom that had been hanging over me for the past month and a half - it fell down upon me like a ton of bricks.

I cried a little (and I'm crying while I'm writing this).

Don't get me wrong. I usually like to get friend requests - I like to reconnect with people I have encountered in other areas of my life. And I'm nosy, so I like to see how many unflattering photos they have...and how many involve the over-consumption of alcohol (I kid...sort of).

But I didn't have that titillating joy of potential voyeuristic activity when I accepted HER request.

And whose request would cause me tears and consternation?

One from The Boy's teacher, Ms. McK, that's who.

What can I say about Ms. McK? She's  young, she's cheerful, she's perky. She.loves.The.Boy.and.only.wants.him.to.do.his.very.best. She's helped him A LOT. She even has coached him on how to be cooler around girls (she convinced him to stop saying "Hey, sexy", when he saw a cute girl in the hall at school).

In her FB photos, she has one of the two of them, and refers to The Boy as "her favorite student"...now, doesn't that rock?

I'm sure you may still be wondering WHY this all causes me such abject sadness.

In my experience, teachers (and others in the helping professions) typically do NOT friend (befriend?) their students, or the parents of the students. There may even be some "keep it professional" clause in their contracts. Generally, teachers keep themselves just a little bit separate from the families they work with...unless they aren't teaching said students anymore.

And that, my friends, is why I am so sad. And I don't know how to break it to The Boy.

Back about a month and a half ago, something very bad allegedly happened at school. This time, it did NOT involve The Boy, so I have only sketchy details he has picked up (the other class teacher told him point-blank to "mind his own business"). On that day, he heard Ms. McK crying, he knew she was physically hurt - allegedly by another student. The Boy was very upset for quite a while, and was really angry at his classmate for making Ms. McK cry.

She left school that day and never returned. And she will NOT be returning when school starts again in August.

And The Boy's special ed program has closed - she was to be his teacher at the high school.

Now everything is up in the air. And i am sad and fearful, and worried about the difficulties that The Boy will face with all these unknown factors.

Yet, I am truly happy that Ms. McK has sought us out, and thinks enough of us to consider us friends. I am thrilled that she is well (I've been thinking of her often since the very bad thing allegedly happened), and I'm sure that she'll go on to have a positive impact on her students in the future.  But I speak for myself and The Boy - we're sure gonna miss Ms. McK in the classroom.

I sure don't fault her for not wanting to work in a place where she didn't feel safe...she has her own cute redheaded son at home to take care of. 

So now The Boy must navigate yet another new beginning. While he in camp this next week, I will be calling the school district in an attempt to find out what might be going on for him next school year. It will mean another IEP meeting, and meeting new staff (if a replacement has been hired).

Now all I can do is hope that both Ms. McK AND The Boy have smooth transitions coming up.


  1. That is SO sad!
    At first I was wondering what terrible person wanting to reconnect could bring you to tears and was ready to shout, "Just hit ignore!".
    I am so sorry-- for you and especially The Boy. Life is hard enough.

  2. Oh that's a tough situation. I don't know what I'd do if one of my son's teachers "friend" me. That sounds like a crazy situation. Not sure I understand. Another student physically hurt the teacher? In any event sorry.

    I'm following you from trendy treehouse follow friday.


  3. How terribly sad. It's unbelievable that teachers are sometimes abused in today's world...both verbally and physically. I hope she and The Boy will have a good, happy and SAFE upcoming school year.

  4. That's so hard. I know how difficult it is when your child clicks with a special teacher and then something happens to take the teacher or student out of that good place. My son really clicked with his old teacher. She was THE perfect fit for him, using his 'quirks' to help him in the class. When we moved and had to say goodbye it was hard. We ahven't found the same type of teacher here. I'm hoping next year will be the year we find another Mrs. M.

    Good luck to you.

  5. That makes me so sad for you, her and your son. I would really like to know what happened to this poor woman. Those teachers that work with special need kids are so awesome and it is a shame. In fact, where I live, some of the special needs classes have had to be totally taken out because of budget woes. IDK, but wouldn't it make more sense to maybe not have dances and stupid shit, and pay for needed teachers. stepping off the soap box. sorry

  6. How terribly sad...now the teachers are no longer safe at school. I am sorry to hear he has lost another good teacher and will pray for smooth transitions for all!

  7. Aw it makes me so sad for the Boy just reading it!

  8. Awwww. That makes me so sad. People with hearts like hers are needed doing the work that she was doing. I can see where she's coming from but that is heartbreaking.

  9. I'm so sad for you and the Boy and Mrs McK. It is a lose-lose every way you look at it. I'm hoping you can find another great teacher for The Boy.

  10. Wow - that's a sad story. I just found you thru Life w/Kaishon ... so glad I did! : )

  11. I'm so sorry. That is terrible that she is leaving. I don't know if your son has trouble transitioning from one teacher to another, but I have a friend whose son is autistic and his school has changed his teacher every year for the last three years. He doesn't handle it well and the first two months of school every fall are very traumatic for him until he adjusts. I hope everything goes well for you and The Boy this summer and the upcoming school year. Take care!

  12. I found you through Followback Friday (I know it's Saturday, but I was busy...) :-)

    Great Blog!


  13. Oh, no. That sucks! So sad for both of them and you! Hope everything turns out for the best!

  14. Oh. This made my heart hurt as I read. I am so sorry about this. So very sad.


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