July 05, 2010

Well, I'm Glad That's Over

I've heard that more dogs run away on the 4th of July than on any other day of the year.

I guess they can't endure the noise of the fireworks. The constant barrage is putting them on edge.

I totally get that.

Not just on this national holiday, but every day - must it just be day after day, of me enduring the ordeal du jour?

The Boy loves him some fireworks. Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to detonate these mini-explosive devices in the trailer park. So, The Boy went to the adjoining subdivision in the morning (while I was still sleeping) to determine which one of his "friends" (yeah, friends on July 4th) had fireworks. His plan? Charm them so they share their bounty with him.

When I say "charm" I wonder if he just annoys the bejesus out of them until they give in (like he does to me).

I don't let The Boy wander the neighborhood by himself, as a rule. That kind of action only leads to bad behavior on his part, and a visit from the trailer park manager.

Since I am legally responsible for The Boy, I try very hard to keep him in my sights, and to lessen the chance that he will once again run afoul of the law. That detention center jumpsuit did nothing for him, I'd like to keep him from wearing one again.

So, I am the mother and legal guardian of an almost 15-year old toddler. He still is fuzzy on the meaning of the words "no", "don't", "stop it", and the ever popular "don't even". And he has quite a mouth on him.  He threatens, he screams at the top of his lungs, he curses. He may even take a swing at someone, or throw something. If any person was EVER unkind to him, he holds a grudge, and wants revenge.

Can you see why he has no friends in the neighborhood - except me?

So, back to the fireworks. Every time he heard a boom during the day, he was like a puppy, nipping at the door, wanting to go out and explore - see if there was someone to con out of some fireworks.

I consistently denied him permission to go, even though he tore open the door like it was on fire, and stood out on the deck, sans shoes, practically jumping out of his skin in anticipation. At one point, I thought he was going to physically assault me. But I dodged a little bit, and he went back inside.

And I promised, that if he quit going to the door every time he heard a boom or a pop, I'd take him to the local fireworks display...that seemed to work. He fizzled out before the fireworks were done; his meds made him tired. We stayed about 20 minutes.

Here's something that keeps me up at night. When can I stop being ever-vigilant? At what point is HE responsible for his actions? Should I just do the tough love thing and let him get hauled off to detention, even though it didn't teach him a lesson last time? Three arrests, and he still acts the same.

What kind of future will he have if he can't get control of himself? What happens to him when I give up? When, like the dogs on the 4th of July, I bolt the next time the front door is opened?

What happens when I die?

I've had two other toddlers - they grew up. My fear is that he never will get more mature than he is right now.

Autism bites.


  1. My old dog trembles and shakes. One year it was so bad he was getting sick all over the house. I thought he was sick sick. The vet gave him sedatives that knocked him out. It was almost comical. He just slept like a rock. Now and then he'd try to get up and we'd ask if he was alive... he'd fall over and be asleep again. Poor thing!! He always hides and shakes, but at least he doesn't need to be sedated anymore. The vet said dogs don't understand this celebration. They think they are suddenly in a war zone. I can understand that. So I do try to give him lots of attention and quieter places he can get to so he can do his hiding.

    Having a permanent teen toddler could leave you with never a dull moment... (((HUGS)))

  2. June,

    Thanks for sharing. Two of my four underlings have ADD, and although it's nowhere near what you are going through, I can sympathize with your "let them suffer the natural consequences" desires. The meds help, but mine don't always take them.

    I think we just do whatever we can, for as long as we can, and give the rest over to God.

    I'm glad the 4th is over, too!

  3. I can only imagine what it must be like. My heart goes out to you.

  4. Autism does bite. Having read "House Rules" recently, I feel like I had a little tiny glimpse into your world recently and I feel so bad for you and your constant worry about The Boy.


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