September 15, 2010

Does Reading Cookbooks Make My Butt Look Fat?

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The Mister and I were having a discussion about books last night. We are readers here in the Cleaver compound, we enjoy visiting the library and bringing home treasures to read.

Granddaughter Desiree is reading The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things in school. She's in 7th grade. For some reason, Des asked Grandpa to read her book.

After starting the first chapter, The Mister took exception to the selection. He got to the part where fifteen year-old Virginia Shreeves, the main character, lets her male friend, Froggy Welsh the Fourth, feel her up. 

The Mister closed the book and inquired as to why she was reading it.

What teenage girl hasn't thought what that whole feeling up thing would be like, or had it happen to them?

Oh, it's just me then? Whoopsies.

Do you think that reading about such activity makes it more likely that a kid will participate in it? And haven't most kids seen much worse on TV, or in movies by the time they're in middle school?

Here's where The Mister and I ONCE AGAIN disagree. He's such a Goober (he insists I'm a Raisinette).

But I digress...

The Boy is reading Flowers for Algernon, which is about Charlie, a man with an IQ of 68 who undergoes brain surgery which increases his intellect to genius level. Algernon is the name of the laboratory mouse who has the operation first. 

Unfortunately, the results of the surgery are not permanent, and the mouse, and Charlie, slowly revert back to their former levels of intelligence.

Now I think THAT'S an odd selection for the kids in The Boy's Special Ed class.

But do I think that The Boy will now request surgical intervention to "cure" his autism, or eradicate his bipolar disorder?


The Mister is on a Terry Goodkind book kick. Terry Goodkind writes epic fantasy. The TV show Legend of the Seeker is based on his first book, Wizard's First Rule.

Has reading this stuff caused The Mister to wield a sword and slay evildoers? 

Nope. The Mister's too cheap to purchase a sword. 

Yet he insists that no evildoers have dared to cross our sacred threshold. Just his presence is enough to frighten evildoers.


But I see why he likes this stuff.

Here's the Wizard's First Rule:

"Wizard's First Rule: people are stupid." Richard and Kahlan frowned even more. "People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People’s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool."

The Mister totally believes that most people are clueless. 

I'm lucky I made the cut.

As for me and my book selections?

I've read The Stepford Wives, but it hasn't made me turn into a robotic housewife extraordinaire (much to The Mister's dismay). 

And reading In Cold Blood hasn't make me want to drive to Kansas and brutally murder a family in a botched robbery attempt.

When I was Desiree's age, I read a scandalous book called Young Sinner (Sex Escapades in a Small Town), and proceeded to pass it amongst all my friends. Among my thirteen year-old friends, it was darned near pornographic (what did we know?)!

As far as I know, none of us spent our teen years in pursuit of carnal pleasures.

I just found a copy of the book on Abe Books - I may have to buy it and read it again, to see how "naughty" it really is, forty years later.

Maybe we were all just fortunate to not be negatively influenced by what we read.

In rare circumstances, perhaps, there's a wee grain of truth in what The Mister says...promise me you won't tell him.

For example, I am convinced that voraciously reading cookbooks has made me fat.

There must be calorie leakage from devouring those words and drinking in the glossy photos of the completed dishes.

I'm sure my sedentary lifestyle spent mostly online is merely coincidental.


  1. Judy Blume defined my childhood and got me through being a Fourth Grade Nothing.

    And then she digressed.

    I'm all over Is that where the 7 lbs. came from or the cupcake store up the street?

  2. Come on Kim, Since when did we ever listen to the Mister? Now Seriously. I have read all sorts of book on the mentally deranged criminals of the world. I have also read Sybil numerous times. Has that made me Crazy? Ok well maybe that isnt a good reccomendation. But I believe that some reading material is not appropriate for the very young. But yeah I still wonder what it would be like to be felt up. Love ya girl ... Krazy

  3. I adored Flowers for Algernon...loved it. I remember reading some risque stuff when I was young and oh wait...I was a rebellious teen. Im blaming the books

  4. Loved this!! I am always so drawn into everything you write. You have the serious overtones, the hilarious insights...You really should be getting published on a daily/weekly basis and getting PAID FOR IT!!:)

  5. Oy vey. You changed your blog look again. Very nice and clean. : )

    And I'm very curious to see what The Boy thinks of "Flowers For Algernon." Though it does seem to be an odd choice.

    Glad to hear you're not inspired to murder a farm family in Kanasas.


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