September 23, 2010

Uppity Women Not Welcome!

Yesterday, I entered a primarily male domain, where uppity women are not appreciated.

Just a few months ago, they fired several women who deigned to speak their minds (teachers and a secretary) - I guess they should have kept their mouths shut.

Or baked a nice batch of cookies.

What bastion of testosterone am I referring to?

The Boy's school.

Normally, you think of school as being female-dominated, and at the elementary level, it probably is.

But in the high school, where everyone wears their big boy pants or their big girl panties, the men are running the show. 

Principal - male
Head of special education - male
The Boy's teacher - male

I was the only female at yesterday's IEP review meeting. I also invited Daniel's Service Coordinator (another male) to act as an advocate. 

We settled into the Teacher's Lounge to chat.

I've had mixed emotions about school this year - The Boy is doing amazingly well, so I'm proud and happy and pleased; but they're not following his IEP, which is bad news (and against the law, BTW).

So I had to tread carefully - I don't want to derail The Boy's progress. But I also don't want them railroading me into letting them avoid doing all the things they need to do to ensure that The Boy stays on track to get the best education he can get.

Yay me! Did you notice? I just typed three non-mixed metaphors in one paragraph! But I digress...

The director of special education did NOT want to redo The Boy's IEP, even though everything about this year is different. He wanted to just "review" it with me. 

Nope. Wrong. They eliminated his program, brought in a teacher who hasn't taken many teaching classes yet. 

Everything has changed, and he wanted to act like nothing had changed.

And by the end of the meeting, he was right. 

EVERYTHING in last year's IEP would be in this one, so really, NOTHING CHANGED:

  • The Boy will now have counseling each week (and they have to schedule additional time to make up for the time he missed since the beginning of school).
  • The Boy will receive remedial help in math...with a Math Specialist.
  • The Boy will NOT have to participate in 'I'm a Little Teapot' type activities in PE anymore (asking him to do things that he considers to be 'babyish' is a definite trigger for bad behavior).
  • He may be going into a new class for Language Arts, since he doesn't need special education instruction for that class.

Every day last year, a point sheet was sent home which told how the day went (letting me know whether The Boy was meeting his IEP goals).

I found it to be very helpful - and all of The Boy's after school privileges were based on how well he did during the school day.

This year, after a few nagging phone calls, he brought home a new point sheet, which even gives points for eating lunch.

Now, The Boy knows how to eat, so he'll always score big in this area.

The sheet doesn't list a single IEP goal. 

And the sheet was divided into AM, Mid and PM - is there a whole new time of day of which I am not aware?

Was Mid slipped into the 24-hour day while I was napping?

Anyway, we're going back to the OLD point sheet - if the special ed director can find out where last year's stuff is stored.

He's going to ask the new, non-uppity secretary to find it.

I bet she bakes a mean batch of cookies to celebrate the retrieval of the paperwork.



  1. all I can say is OMG, I feel so bad for you. But what a wonderful mom he has. I wish I were half the mom you are.

  2. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Keep at 'em until they get the job done right. It's frustrating that the cycle has to start fresh every single year. It's exhausting.

    Things have gone relatively smoothly so far for us this year, but this morning I am going to start firing off the emails. I don't think that our IEP has even been looked at yet...the accommodations are just not happening.

  3. my hat (err baseball cap ) is off to ya. Your determination should be appreciated,,,,by everyone involve.

  4. The Boy is lucky to have a mama that fights for him!

    Typed this at 8:38 Mid

  5. Oh Man ... good for you but boo to them. Shouldn't the Special Ed director be an ADVOCATE for these kids ... not their enemy. It pains me to think what happens to kids who DON'T have someone to fight for them like you do.

  6. "Ditto" on all of the above! :)


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