December 29, 2010

My Wild Kingdom - Mysteries of The Mister, Part Two

The Mister in the wild
I previously wrote about my first encounter with the feral Mister here. I thought it was about time to update you about his habits and habitat.

The Mister is a creature of habit. When he finds something he likes to do, he will repeat that action, with no apparent decrease in his level of satisfaction. Appreciative grunts are his vocalizations when he is pleased about an activity or food.

He will go out of his way to ensure that he gets to participate in the activity again. 

He likes to read. He will often read the same books over and over again. My research indicates that this signifies a faulty memory. My hypothesis is further supported by the fact that he is constantly putting objects down, and forgetting where they are.

His scurrying about, looking for said object, makes tracking his movements a bit frenetic. He will also solicit help in locating the item he desires. As I am the only female in the house, I feel he must be of the opinion that my girly bits include a tracking device for lost articles. 

He has made other erroneous assumptions...though I haven't worked out the final statistics on that phenomena yet. Suffice it to say that his declaration that he "says stupid things all the time" is indeed true.

Key: Things Said, Stupid Things Said

The Mister can also grow quite fond of favorite dishes that have been prepared for dinner. Once he finds a dish he likes, he wants to eat it with alarming frequency. If he declares a new recipe as a "winner", then I am sure to become weary making that meal, and subsequently, eating it...again...and again...and again (ad nauseum may fit here, but it hardly seems appropriate).

As an example, I have made THIS recipe so often, I have started to refer to it as soup.

His favorite roosting place is the man cave. It is tucked into a corner of the house. He spends many waking hours there, and is sometimes heard laughing riotously. This laughter usually indicates that he is viewing a humorous video on Netflix or, or on rare occasions, he is reading one of my blog posts that he finds humorous.

He prefers to entertain himself with the computer while in the cave. He suffers from some sort of 'Camelot complex', as he is drawn to computer games involving knights and other do-gooders who desire to defeat all manner of evil beings.

Although in the case of this game, maybe the allure is the cleavage and weapons wielded by the female players that catches his eye.

He often lugs provisions with him for fortification while his extended periods of isolation. One of his favorite items to take to the man cave is the salt shaker. Either his diet is deficient in sodium chloride, or he is enamored by the shiny silver lid of the shaker. Perhaps he just likes to turn the shaker upside down and watch the crystals fall upon his food.

I fear this subject will take further study - I guess it's good that we did the whole "'til death do us part" thing - I say that just in the spirit of scientific conquest.

I hope you've enjoyed this second glimpse into The Mister's world.

In my next installment, I may talk about The Mister's apparel...or lack of same.


  1. My husband has a cave...but it is mental. I wish it were a physical place, not a force shield.

    I like how you write about The well you know him. I assume there is such a comfort and ease between you. Perhaps because I want it to be so.

  2. I think a lot of men have a lot of the same...issues!! :D


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