August 09, 2011

American Automakers, Imagine Me in Your Driver's Seat!

Pleasingly plump. 

According to studies, some 64% of American adults are overweight. And among citizens of driving age, 57% of Americans drive. So I think it's safe to assume that a fair number of larger-than-average asses (when I say 'asses', I don't mean jerks you've dated, or members of Congress - I'm talking about the derriere) occupy the driver's seat.

I can be counted among the 64 per cent of overweight Americans.  I am have a larger-than-life ass.

Apparently, American car manufacturers aren't hoping for a sale from me. Out of a list of smaller cars which offer a comfortable ride for overly tall and/or obese drivers, not one is made by an American automobile manufacturer.

Not a one.

I'd like to be a patriotic American, and buy something made in this country. Our economy sure needs us to spend some dough within our shores. That said, I'm forced to look at dealers from Japan, Germany or South Korea to find a seat and cockpit area that's large enough (though some Toyotas, Nissans and Hyundais are manufactured in the US, I'm counting them as foreign cars since the money ends up overseas). The Mister said I need to find a car with enough room to "fit my fat ass" - don't you just love a man who's complimentary?

Yes? Well, if you know one, tell him I said "hi"!

So anyway, we're in the market for a new, economically priced, fuel-efficient car. And I hate the thought of buying a foreign model. But between the higher prices of American models and the fact that they offer less hip, leg and headroom, it looks like I'm going to have to buy foreign.

I hate that.

Part of me thinks that American manufacturers want to deny me an economical American car until I can actually fit inside one. Maybe it's all part of a big government conspiracy, funded by Weight Watchers, the Surgeon General and the gastric lapband industry.

Take THAT, extra value meal!

I already know that if we were willing to purchase a minivan, crossover or SUV, an American model would suffice. But we don't need the cargo space (we have a minivan already), and don't want to be spending more on gasoline.

We haven't begun visiting any dealers yet, so I haven't had to humiliate myself by trying to  fit in a seat that was made for someone half my size, and then explaining to the salesperson why "we won't want to take this beaut for a test drive".

When I'm out and about, I'll be watching to see what other big folks drive, and how they maneuver getting in and out of their vehicles. So if you hear a news report about a woman stalking shoppers and running up with a tape measure to calculate their width, it's not me.

I promise. I will look, but not touch.

And isn't this a car only a mother automotive design engineer could love? It's so ugly, it's cute. The color? Alien green! I could say that it's out of this world...oh, too late, I just did.


  1. Escape, no not from your marriage and daily grind, buy an Escape, 28 highway, and they fit my F/A and hubby too. Check it out.

  2. I would love an Escape (the vehicle kind) so I could escape, but we can't escape the fact that it's too costly to be in the budget right now.

    If I had a decent job, that's probably what I'd be buying.

  3. I'm so glad I stopped by here tonight. I've read about four of your posts in a row now...See, I really am trying to catch up and be a good blog friend?! :D
    You are just so dang funny. I swear, we should go to a comedy club sometime when they have an Open Mic night. You could be the next Roseanne!


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