November 19, 2012

Are You Awake? I Found a Loophole...Yay Me!

Awhile back, I posted that The Boy does not want me writing about him unless he first reads and approves any post.

I found a loophole. A workaround. I'm working the angles here.

He unfriended me on Facebook, so I write all my stuff there.

The Boy shares my ability/curse/talent to speak in full sentences while sleeping. When Shannon and Erin were little, they'd ask me for money for Dairy Queen while I was asleep and I'd tell them to get money out of my purse...and the little shits would feast on Dilly Bars and cones with wild abandon.

I had to enact a law to prohibit them from taking advantage of my generosity while I was unconscious.

Too bad The Boy doesn't have the ability to enact legislation like that for me.

The Boy also walks in his sleep sometimes. I have had to tell him to go back to sleep numerous times, and have prevented him from going outside a time or two.

He's a font of amusement 24/7.

Almost nightly, I post his latest sleeptalking messages on Facebook. Here are some of the latest messages (when he's heavily medicated and under the influence of the Sandman):

Top 10 Sleeptalking Conversations with The Boy

  1. "Your Highness should be fine."
  2. Sitting up ramrod straight, he shouts, "I have a great idea!" (No further clue on what the idea was).
  3. "Whoa. Because of something I did with magic or whatever, I have a new best friend." I asked him who his friend is. "Oh, never mind."
  4. Everything they had had 'stupid' written on it." I was talking to Erin on the phone and said, "Really" (to her). The Boy said, "Yeah."
  5. "I'm working on it! I'm working on getting an autograph of the restaurant."
  6. He suddenly sits up on the couch and says, "I made a blanket. I have eighteen openings for ponies to go through, so I made a blanket." Then he lays down and goes back to sleep.
  7. "Bitch!"
  8. "Guess, guess. You want to guess. You know what I'm doing. Guess."

    Then a bit later:

    "Two, two, two, you know. Two equals eena."

    Must be new Math. I can only assume he gave me the answer because I refused to guess.
  9. "OMG! Whoa! That's just...just WOW."

    I asked, "What?"

    "Just wow. Just wow. How long will they be able to hold it?"

    "Hold what?"

    "The internet." Then he grinned and went back to sleep.
  10. With his arm extended and his hand firmly in the "talk to the hand" position, he very dramatically said, "How DARE YOUUUUUU! HOW DARE YOUUUUUU!"
This last one may be what he says when he reads this post.


  1. Sleep talking is hilarious. My son does it too and it is no end of fun. However, the sleepwalking can be a little freaky.

  2. hahahahaha. I have to say, this post was hilarious.

  3. My kids loved it when I napped after school, because they knew they could get what they wanted. I also talk in my sleep. My hubby says I interact with the TV when I sleep. This was fun post.


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