March 08, 2013

Life is Not a Rehearsal

The Boy continues his preparations for the high school play. I've been attending all of his rehearsals...just in case.

It's all part of this 'eternal vigilance' program I've been on. I just never know when I'll be spurred to swoop in and "fix", apologize, restrain, or otherwise set things back to normal.

As I sit in the auditorium (I had been lurking backstage, but I'm no stage mother), I watch his interactions with the other students. He comments, they laugh - but I have no way of knowing if they're laughing with him - or at him.

His facial expressions (very dramatic), coupled with his physical movements (often exaggerated) further reinforce his designation of square peg.

Maybe he'll grow into a "cool" phase, and learn a bit about subtlety - and feigning disinterest.

There have been a few girls in his herd of Jungle of Nool animals who have been kind to him. I don't know if he's been kind in return - my only indication is that I've not seen anyone slap him in the face for lewd remarks, and the drama teacher has not told me to take him home.

I guess this is progress.

Yesterday, I tempted fate and dropped him off at practice. I was in the line of other cars dropping off their kids. 

For those few minutes, I joined the normal team.

I came home and got dinner ready to go into the oven (my emotional dial set to "fret") before returning to my aisle seat in row D. Nobody rushed up to berate me - I breathed a sigh of relief...and a sparkle of hope ignited itself.

The first of two performances of Seussical The Musical takes place in one week.

Five more evenings of rehearsal - five more occasions when hope can come to life.

Then I'll just be one of many in the audience. I'm sure while all the other theater-goers are watching the principal actors do their thing, center stage, I'll be focusing on the tall jungle animal near the back of the herd.


  1. Totally understand how you feel. Mine is 20 and has a baby and still lives here with me. I still have to hold his hand. Right now he is playing nice with baby momma. Who openly admits to neglecting their child but thinks nothing of cussing and slandering us every chance she gets. Just so ready for one of those HOPE moments nowadays.

  2. Daniel may have found his niche! I hope so. Kudos to him.


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