April 16, 2013

Kitchen Disappointments (Or How Cleaning Stuff Is Driving Me Nuts)

They say that the kitchen is the heart of the home. It's one room in the house where love is most evident - in the preparation of the family meal, and in the sharing of food and conversation.

For me, it's also the room that contains many frustrating and disappointing moments...and I'm not talking about the many recipe disasters I've experienced. I'm talking about frequent cleaning difficulties I encounter on a regular basis.

Like when my non-stick cookie sheets aren't...non-stick, and I'm forced to use some wimpy scrubby thing to clean the baked-on spills, when I'd rather just grab the steel wool and scratch the hell out of them?

In my next lifetime, I will buy only stainless steel bakeware, so I can scour them into submission.

Then there's this Presto electric griddle:

Fancy, isn't it? I was thrilled to find out it was submersible in water and, get this - DISHWASHER SAFE...if you have an industrial sized dishwasher. That sucker won't fit in my dishwasher, no matter at what angle I try to insert it. To add insult to injury, it's just a fraction of an inch too big to fit properly in the sink, too. I despise cleaning it when it's all greasy from bacon or hamburgers. Presto, my ass. You can also see from the picture that I have no business mixing pancake batter - I totally missed an egg.

We have this dandy electric iced tea maker which has a pitcher that was most likely designed by Satan himself. I have sticky tea residue (it has a special compartment for sugar, so the hot water drips through, creating a syrup. It splashes while it drips. The pitcher's poor design ensures spillage when pouring. Every flat surface in the kitchen has tea-colored rings which harden into glistening stains as they dry. Even though I nag incessantly to a certain adolescent to "pour over the sink", he rarely listens.

The pitcher and inserts are NOT dishwasher safe, so I'm constantly scrubbing brown stains from them.

And our crappy hard water plugs up the works so badly that I have to fill the water reservoir with a quart of white vinegar once a month and run it a couple of times to get everything cleaned out.

If and when we remodel, the first thing to go is the white vinyl floor. It's impossible to keep clean and it's a constant reminder about my lackadaisical attitude toward domesticity.

I'm too embarrassed to include a picture of what the floor looks like today...maybe some other time.

Why would they install a white floor? It boggles the mind...and makes me a cranky hausfrau.


  1. The egg is hysterical. I know what you mean about countertops. Mine looks like a mess kitchen, everything's a mess when hubby prepares anything. He cannot clean up after himself.

  2. For the cookie sheets use a paste of baking soda and water and let set for about 20 minutes. Most of it should wipe right off and what doesn't simply use the sponge/scratcher thing on. Hope that helps hun. You should check out Pinterest they have all kinds of cleaning tips for stuff just like this.

  3. I had a friend who said that a sticky kitchen floor is a guarantee of safety. After all, if your feet get stuck in something, you can't slip and fall. (Those clean, waxed floors are highly dangerous.)

    I keep looking for tile that has brown, yellow, red, green, black, white, and orange splatters and spots all over it. I haven't found it yet...

  4. I'm glad that I'm not the only one whose nonstick pans are all gummed up with stuff that stuck to it!!!


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