March 16, 2015

Now That I Am Laid Bare

Today's been a bit tough, emotionally. I had all sorts of silly/stupid/scary thoughts in my head, and I got a bit weepy a time or two.

What the hell have I done, telling my secret? I don't call it my shame because I am not ashamed - but I do worry that -  in the telling - I have made myself vulnerable all over again.

And in not completing my story, I have left out key points that have helped to shape the person I am today (both literally and figuratively).

If you've read this far, and haven't read my earlier post, you're probably thinking that I've lost my ever-loving mind.

So here's the big question: Should I delete these two posts and stuff all that darkness where it never sees the light of day again (or appears on a screen)?

Maybe it's too late for that now. 

Should I finish what I've started, and let go of this burden? 

If I thought the telling could make a positive difference for just one person, then it would be worth it.

1 comment:

  1. Kim--

    If it IS a burden, and telling the rest will lighten your load, I think you should forge ahead. However, if you're not ready to leave yourself completely vulnerable, delete the posts.

    But I also think that women could be helped by your post. You've kept this secret for decades... I imagine there are other women who are keeping the same secret, and perhaps your story would spur them to open up. Rape should not be kept hidden away. It's too ugly to hide. You are a survivor, and should be so proud of that accomplishment.


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